The Art of Not Losing Your 💩 Shit: How to Handle Annoying People

Ever feel like pulling your hair out because of a difficult person?

Turn those frustrating interactions into powerful opportunities for personal growth with Dai Manuel on this episode of The 2% Solution!

Dive into the psychology of anger and frustration as I break down why we get so riled up and, more importantly, how to keep your cool even around the most challenging people. 

Learn five practical strategies to remain composed: pausing to breathe, acknowledging your feelings, shifting your perspective, using "I" statements, and setting clear boundaries.

I’ll share a personal story about "Dumper Dave," a coworker whose constant negativity tested my patience daily. 

Through this tale, I'll show you how these techniques transformed my relationship with him and boosted my emotional well-being.

As we wrap up, I invite you to join our podcast community. Share this episode with friends who might need a little emotional support, and don't forget to engage with us on social media.

Together, we can turn stress into strength and thrive in every aspect of life.

Resources:

1. American Psychological Association
2. Harvard Medical School
3. Journal of Applied Psychology

Chapters

• 0:08 Managing Emotions and Personal Growth
• 9:32 Connecting and Engaging With Audience

Transcript

Dai Manuel: 0:08

Hey there, wellness warriors, welcome back to another episode of the 2% Solution. I'm your host, diamond Well, and we're diving into a topic that hits close to home for lots of us. You ever wonder what you should do when people are just pissing you off. Like really strategies for when people just seem to suck Because, let's be honest, we've all been, whether it's a difficult goal worker, maybe a challenging family member or just a frustrating stranger. Sometimes people just really know how to push our buttons. But fear not, because today we'll explore practical strategies for managing your emotions, maintaining your composure and turning these interactions into opportunities for personal growth.

Dai Manuel: 0:54

Let's take a deep breath and let's just get into it. Let's start with a bit of psychology. Anger and frustration are natural emotions. According to the American Psychological Association, these feelings are responses to perceived threats or stressors Pretty straightforward. But when someone pisses you off, your body reacts with a fight-or-flight response, which can make it hard to think clearly and I think we'll all agree, pretty darn challenging to stay calm as well. But here's the kicker While we can't always control what happens to us, we can't control how we respond. A study from Harvard Medical School found that people who manage their anger effectively have lower stress levels and better overall health. So how do we get there? Let's dive in to some practical strategies.

Dai Manuel: 1:46

Number one pause and breathe. The simplest and most effective way to manage immediate anger is to pause and take a few deep breaths. This helps activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which calms you down. Nervous system which calms you down. Just three deep breaths can make a huge difference and might be just enough of a buffer between losing it and really losing it Now. Number two acknowledge your feelings. It's okay to feel angry, frustrated or just PO'd. Acknowledge your emotions without judgment. This helps you process them rather than suppress them. Number three shift your perspective. Try to see the situation from the other person's point of view. This doesn't mean you have to agree with them, but understanding their perspective can reduce those feelings of anger. Number four and this is one that I have to remind myself and I'm going to invite any men that are listening to this to really pay attention to. Number four Use I statements when addressing the issue. Use I statements to express your feelings without blaming the other person the issue. Use I statements to express your feelings without blaming the other person. For example, I feel frustrated when meetings start late because it affects my schedule Instead of you always start meetings late, right? Uh yeah, I can relate to that one a lot. Okay, so that use of I statements pretty important. And then, number five set boundaries. If certain people consistently piss you off, it might be time to set some boundaries. This can mean limiting your interactions or communicating your needs. So just to recap the five practical strategies for managing your emotions Number one pause and breathe. Number two acknowledge your feelings. Number three shift your perspective. Number four use I statements. And lastly, number five set boundaries.

Dai Manuel: 3:54

Let me share a quick story. I remember a time it's going way back I had a coworker who just was always negative. You know for for, without revealing any names, I'm just going to call him dumper Dave. Okay, and dumper Dave's negativity was driving me, literally and figuratively. I, I, I pretty much ran up the wall. Every meeting, every email, every phone call. It was like a dark cloud, kind of reminded me of Eeyore, is that, if you remember Winnie the Pooh and some of his friends? But there was Eeyore, which is always, that's just that, downer donkey, right? Well, dumper Dave was a regular Eeyore.

Dai Manuel: 4:34

I decided to try the strategies. Well, not all of them, but a few of the ones that we just talked about, in particular the I statements and shifting my perspective. I remember pausing and taking a few deep breaths after getting triggered by some stupid statement he said, and I acknowledged my frustration. Then I approached him, dumper Dave, with empathy, literally trying to understand why they might be feeling the way they are so consistently. And what turned out?

Dai Manuel: 5:02

They were going through a really hard personal time and this had been going on for literally a few months. It was a personal relationship. That few months. It was a personal relationship that was struggling. It was coming towards its ends, new separation, and it's interesting, right, because as much as we think that we get to know the people we work with, sometimes some people, well, we just don't really know them. Even if we try to take time, if we're not opening up, we don't create the space to get to know somebody. And it was a valuable lesson to me that I was completely oblivious to the going-ons in this person's life. I wasn't really taking the initiative to try, nor were they opening up to share, and fair enough, right.

Dai Manuel: 5:38

But this became really challenging because I would see this repeating itself in other areas of my life, and so I think this is one of the most trying things is when we discover that we have a certain way of dealing with certain things in certain areas. So, as an example, when I start to feel triggered, a little bit upset, I react. I react very quickly. It's like it goes from cool to crazy and it annoys me and I know it really bugs the people I'm closest with. So that idea of just pausing and breathing and then trying to shift my perspective to understand better where people are coming from.

Dai Manuel: 6:13

So with Dump or Dave, this made a huge difference and after learning that they were going through a really tough personal issue and actually a few issues that were stemming from that one issue, we improved our working relationship significantly and we also we set some boundaries using I statements right, just opening up that when we're going through hard times, that we should let the other person know and just be maybe overly communicative, especially when it comes to meetings or meeting times, right, and commitments when you make a commitment do you follow through on it. That's what integrity is about. And so if you start missing these appointments to yourself but then also missing appointments to other ones, well, that can create challenges, right? Well, guess what? My stress levels went down and I felt much more at peace. And you know the way that that showed up. It showed up when I would pull up to the parking lot and I would see his car in the parking lot. He got there before me and in the past I'd be like, oh God, I could feel my body, my skin, crawling, just thinking, gosh, I got to spend another eight hours with this guy. Oh, my goodness, dumber Dave really. And now you know when we had gone through that hard moment really that come to honest moment ever since, after that, I always found myself less cringy driving up to the parking lot, still had our moments. I wasn't all hunky-dory and perfect by any means, but I noticed that I was less resentful. I was also more empathetic and more open to working through those stressful situations, realizing that I'd been there before I can get through them and it's just going through the steps. So hopefully one, if not all five, of those strategies will be helpful for you if you find yourself in a similar situation.

Dai Manuel: 7:55

So let's talk about turning these negative interactions into opportunities for personal growth, because that is a choice right At the end of the day. It's a choice because every interaction, as challenging as it is is a chance to practice patience, empathy and resilience. According to a study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology, people who regularly practice empathy and emotional regulation have better mental health and their relationships are stronger. So next time someone pisses you off, see it as a workout for your emotional muscles. It's like lifting weights Each rep makes you stronger, and if you take that approach, maybe we'll actually have gratitude for the people that piss us off sometimes. Yeah well, that might be a reach, but you know what I mean. So if you want to explore this topic further, I recommend checking out a few resources, one being American Psychological Association, harvard Medical School, as well as the Journal of Applied Psychology, and I've linked to all those in the show notes. These are all great places to learn more about emotional regulation, personal growth and some of the other pieces that I talked about today.

Dai Manuel: 9:05

So, all right, my 2% collective warriors. That's it for today. Remember, we all get pissed off sometimes, but how we respond can make all the difference. By practicing these simple strategies, you can turn anger and frustration into opportunities for growth, while also maintaining your peace of mind and probably keeping the peace in those environments where you're finding yourself triggered. Thanks for tuning in to the 2% solution.

Dai Manuel: 9:32

If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend who might need help managing their emotions today, and don't forget to follow on social media. Leave a review if you love the podcast, or just shoot me a message and say hey, this is what I'm working through right now, or this is an idea I got for an episode. I mean, whatever it is, reach out. We've got that brand new feature that's now live. If you go into the show notes, there's a little button there that says shoot me a text. Just make sure you sign off on it with either an email or your cell number so I can SMS you back. If you don't sign off on it, I can't write you back, but I can receive, so feel free to provide any feedback, thoughts, suggestions or ideas. I'm more than happy to receive those and, of course, reply if I can. So stay calm, stay strong and keep pushing your limits. I'm Diamond Welp and you've been listening to the 2% Solution. Let's keep thriving together and I'll see you on the next episode.