How Tiny Habits Lead to Monumental Gains in Self-Improvement with Brent Dowlen

Have you ever considered the remarkable change that can stem from seemingly insignificant daily efforts?

Join me on a profound exploration with Brent Dowlen of TheFallibleMan.com, as we share an enlightening conversation about personal transformation through small, consistent steps.

Brent brings an inspiring narrative of resilience and growth, teaching us how embracing our fallibility can be the very thing that propels us toward our greatest feats.

Together, we examine the art of reassessing life priorities and the importance of fostering meaningful personal goals, encouraging you to reflect on what truly matters in life.

As I continue my own journey of introspection, it leads to a candid discussion about redefining success beyond material wealth and towards a life rich with experiences and relationships.

Brent and I share insights on the impact of embracing change and breaking free from habitual patterns, especially in today's digital era.

We inspire you to contemplate the 'why' behind your actions and invest your finite energy into pursuits that genuinely enrich your life rather than those that merely pass the time.

This episode culminates with a call to action for all listeners, especially men, to join Brent and me in building a platform for emotional and intellectual growth.

We stress the significance of the 2% solution—small, daily actions that can lead to monumental shifts over time. Listen in as we embolden you to take those small steps, whether dedicating thirty minutes daily to a podcast or a book, to pursue your passions and drive personal change, ultimately guiding you to a more fulfilling journey.

Connect with Brent at

• LinkedIn
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Twitter (aka X)
• TikTok

Chapters

• 0:06 Life Transformation Through Small Adjustments
• 10:29 Reevaluating Life Priorities and Setting Goals
• 14:21 Unpacking the Why
• 22:17 Changing Habits in the Digital Age
• 25:52 Allocating Energy and Time Wisely
• 33:59 Building a Platform for Men
• 43:43 Empowering Change Through Small Actions

Transcript

Dai Manuel: 0:06

Welcome to the 2% Solution Podcast, where we uncover the minor adjustments that spark major transformations in our lives. Today's episode features a special guest and a really great friend of mine, brent Dowland of thefalliblemancom. He's also the dynamic host of the Fallible man Podcast, as well as the founder of the Phoenix Conference. Brent's story is a compelling narrative of resilience, personal growth and the relentless pursuit of living a life filled with purpose and passion. Through his platform, falliblemancom, and his podcast, brent dives into the realities of being fallible and how embracing our flaws can lead to our greatest achievements. Whether you're in search of strategies to overcome personal obstacles, insights into cultivating a girl's mindset or inspiration to make meaningful changes in your life, brent's journey and expertise offer a treasure trove of wisdom. Join us, as Brent shares the essence of the Fallible man and how small, consistent efforts can lead to remarkable life transformation. Let's get into it, all right, everybody. As I said in introduction, the amazing Brent Dowland is here today. Brent's the one I've known for is it three years now, brent?

Dai Manuel: 1:24

Four years, three years. I think it's three years, three years. Time flies when you're having fun with cool people. I had the honor of connecting with Brent, not only on his podcast, but then I had the opportunity to speak at his amazing conference called the Phoenix Conference. I'll let you talk about that in a little bit here. Just every touch point of interaction we've ever had has been so positive there, but also uplifting. Also, you're a father, you're an entrepreneur, you're someone who's committed and co-committed in a relationship with your spouse, your partner, your best friend, your life. You know what I mean. I just know there's so many things that we share in common. That's why this conversation has had me so excited for the last few weeks, because I'm honored that you said yes to come on. I know you've got a very full schedule. If you guys haven't checked out the links in the show notes, be sure to check out the Vivaldi man podcast. Holy crow, amazing, amazing. There's never an episode that you're not going to learn something that's going to make you shift your life. It's just not possible. So, brent, welcome today.

Dai Manuel: 2:30

And before we get started, just so everybody gets a feel for what Brent's all about, his quote and I love this quote. I'm going to read it no BS, no illusions, no agenda. I am here to help you on your journey towards your best self, and I can honestly say that's 120% accurate. All right, this is now Brent. Literally he's in there, making a huge impact, not only in the local community but also the global community, and we're going to talk about it because I know a lot of that is. You got yourself to that level self-education, commitment to constantly educating yourself. So what were some of the initial challenges you faced in the self-education journey and how did you overcome them? And I mean, this obviously is a relates to your life story, because I know there's been sort of this and that. So you feel free to start it where you like but get us an overview of that, because I know it's not something that just happens automatically.

Dai Manuel: 3:21

You have great intentions of how you live your life and how you learn and grow, and I admire that so much. You're actually one of my inspirations for even wanting to start a podcast, and so, having you here, I feel like it's full circle today. So, anyways, brent, you're up. Man, please tell us a bit about that.

Brent Dowlen: 3:37

Oh man, you know, as you said, it's happened in chapters, right, and I had a whole lot of years in the school of hard knocks. My mother actually used to tease me because she knew out of my siblings and I, I'm the one who's going to learn the hard way. It doesn't matter what she said or what my dad said, like they can look me in the eye and be like if you do that, your life is going to suck, and I'd still be like I'll let you know how it goes. Right, and by the time I was going to do it it didn't matter, right, wrong, I had to go and find out for myself for so many years of my life, and so I spent a lot of years in the school of hard knocks, just beating myself up both physically and mentally and emotionally over the years through different aspects of my life. And it was, it was easy because I had a goal. I set one at 12. I actually set a goal for myself at the age of 12.

Brent Dowlen: 4:35

My dad was a minister and so I spent a lot of time at, like you know, the formal occasions weddings, funerals, stuff like that and at the age of 12, I decided my biggest goal in life would be that one day, when they chiseled it on my tombstone, it could honestly say good husband and father, right. That was my life. Ambition at the age of 12 was that that would be an honest statement at the end of my life. So you know, over the years I've tried a lot of things, I've been through a lot of things, but I got that way. My wife and I have been married now for 22,. Going on 23 years soon and we have graduation, super graduate, that's no small fee.

Dai Manuel: 5:19

So keep going.

Brent Dowlen: 5:20

Keep going, sorry. We have two with healthy children. My oldest daughter is actually fixing to turn 12 next week and my youngest daughter is nine and I have healthy, amazing daughters that are just the whole world to me, and you know that was a journey getting to that point. But a couple of years ago I was just doing life right had the house, dog, kids, wife, had the car right, I had a pretty good white collar job in the IT sector. And I'm just going through the motions of my life and I got confronted with something I didn't know, which was about finances, my financial situation.

Brent Dowlen: 6:07

I got this email. It was like hey, we moved your 401k from here to here and I was like, well, hey, here's a link I should see what that actually looks like, because up until that point in my life like that was 39-ish, 39 years old 401k was just they said in an interview, no idea, right. I never actually mentioned to it, I had no idea, right. And so I clicked on the link and found out that my 401k from my last company had rolled over and was just sitting in this money amount account. So I didn't lose anything, but for six years that money had been sitting there doing nothing. It wasn't even gaining interest. That's not the way that works. I know when told me you had to go reinvest this stuff right, I didn't know anything about finances.

Brent Dowlen: 6:56

So I had this total freak out because, like six years of this, like 10 grand just sitting there doing nothing, wow, yeah. And then I started questioning it's like, what about all the other companies I worked for? Where's all this? Over 401ks? Like I really had no idea where any of them were. So I started this kind of journey of where is all my money? No, is it just sitting there too, right? And I started questioning all these things. So I started this year long journey of learning, right?

Brent Dowlen: 7:27

But that kind of snapped me into this moment of I'm really just doing life. I become completely complacent. I've stopped challenging myself, I've stopped trying to improve, like I stopped trying to level up at work or anything. And I was just kind of going through motion and I was loving it because I could focus on my wife and kids. My job didn't challenge me.

Brent Dowlen: 7:53

But it's like, really, is this, is this the best version of me? Is this what my wife? Is this the dad my kids deserve? And then I, what? Look at the mirror and said is this up? Yo, don't I deserve more than this? Like myself, not just my wife and kids. Am I showing up the best for my wife and kids. But am I showing up for me? Because I've gotten complacent in so many things and that it was that money thing that just kicked it off? But I spent that year just how or died me, podcasts, books, interviews, newspapers, night like I just dug far for a year and Got to where I was investing my own money. I actually stopped letting my company invest my money because I realized they had lost as much money as I'd put in in the time I had been there like wow, man, that's frustrating.

Brent Dowlen: 8:52

Yeah, we need to fire that account manager. He has no idea what he's doing. Obviously you know they're completely lying about matching funds, yeah. And so I started actually pulling my money out of there and investing my own money. I just pulled out of my paycheck, started my kids and some investment accounts to start teaching them about finding this, because no one ever taught me. But then I started down that road of it's like what all can I learn? Right, if I can learn about money, what else can I learn? And I just.

Brent Dowlen: 9:21

But it was like I had to shake myself out of this complacency of just being comfortable and going through the motions. A lot has fallen into. And Then I had to deal with what do I focus on? Right? I had the shiny problem, because all the things I could learn and do is like well, I can, I do. I became Superman overnight and so now I'm going 45 different directions and not making progress, anything. Right.

Brent Dowlen: 9:51

So that was mistake number two. First I got too comfortable. Then it's like okay, I do have the power to learn, I can change things in my life. I had this ability and that's awesome that I went to the fire extreme, of course, and I'm gonna learn everything and you know the you make no progress that way. Right, but I just had to get honest with myself about where I was and what I really really wanted In my life, right, and that that 12 year old Goal has not changed.

Brent Dowlen: 10:29

If I get to the end of this life and you can honestly put on my headstone Good father, good husband, people go, yeah, he was, he didn't. I've lived a good life, right, I'm okay. I. I don't have these grand designs of, you know, being the next Whoever reshapes the entire globe. If I can help other people along the way, I want to. But this is what really says to the heart of me. It's like what can I do? I'm gonna be more.

Brent Dowlen: 11:00

I want to be a better dad, and so I really had to start getting granular on my life. Am I physically as I should be To be a good dad and be a good husband? Am I as good of a employee or businessman as I should? Be right, yeah, we've got a house my kids don't want for much, but could I do better? Could I give them more opportunities?

Brent Dowlen: 11:29

Not so much in like the Possession kind of thing, I'm not big into big positions, but I Want them to experience things. I want them to have experiences and make memories, and you can do that, but I Can't do as much I would like to, and those memories are important to me, and so I started just getting really granular about what do I really want right? And it started there, with them. And what does it look like to be a good dad? What does it look like to be a good husband? What does it look like to actually show up for me? And now I'm armed with this idea that I can do it, because for a lot of my life I didn't think I could. I Thought okay, man, I'm 40 now and I've learned what I'm gonna learn, and it's just kind of what my life's gonna look like for the next 20 years. And and I just resigned and that's what it was.

Dai Manuel: 12:23

And I gotta say, though, you challenge the status quo, right, because I mean what you're referring to there is it's not Something that some comments there, pretty much anybody that lives in a developed country right, like it's very traditional, almost to the point, especially North America where we're based, you know, like it's that, that 4040 plan right, I want 40 hours a week, 40 years of life Hopefully we get it, have enough to retire, and the way the economy looks today, it's like, yeah, I know I don't think so. Oh, yeah, like it's the 50, 50, 60, 60 plan, right, like it's. It's remarkable, but the fact that you acknowledge that, or recognize it, but also now also Support your kids with understanding, sort of this, this predicament that a lot of us can find ourselves in, and I think it's really easy, because what you said, too, about collecting experiences rather than stuff, that's a some of that. My family and I've been very consciously and intentionally done. Well, I guess last eight years, you know, but before that we did, we had stuff, and we're like gosh, you know, more stuff we have. It just feels we don't really it owns us, you know, and really really frustrating too, because you feel like you got them. Just keep up with everybody else and At least that's what we felt like, and and so hearing you say this and just bring back my own memories, I gotta say thank you to that and that.

Dai Manuel: 13:41

But but in you acknowledging this, I know you went to work to really set a new foundation for yourself, because, obviously, asking those questions and it's not just rhetorical I know you're, you're programming your subconscious always be thinking about that and searching for those responses and answers. What was the foundation that you ultimately decided to start with? It's, you know, coming to that shift and want to make a big change at 40 years old. I mean, that's, that's significant and what you've done is remarkable in such a few years. Can you sort of speak to that a little bit so we can all get ideas of how we too might be able to Resolidify or declare on the foundation that we need to catapult that into that next phase of life, you know?

Brent Dowlen: 14:21

One of my favorite questions. Anybody who's known for any time will tell you I'm excessively obnoxious about the question of why. Yeah, I always like I want the granular answer of why, to the point like it's off my friends on a regular basis. I've got one of them to work out and now he, he goes through the stages on his own without me having to say it. Okay, so I'm like a statement and I just look at him with the Duh, look on my face. He's like yeah, yeah, what, blah, blah, blah, why? Right, and I'll drill thing down. I mean, you and I have had this conversation, right?

Dai Manuel: 15:00

Yes.

Brent Dowlen: 15:01

Why. I'm the why behind the why behind the why, and I believe I'm a big Believer in the fact that most of us just coast through life without any on autopilot. We don't have any reason why we do things we do. For example, I eat Jeff peanut butter, jeff creamy peanut butter not the healthiest peanut butter in the world, for sure. Why do I eat it? Cuz my dad ate it. Because we ate on. My Dad wouldn't eat any other peanut butter. I'm living a light chip. She likes like it be crunchy or something. I know that's what my wife likes, I. But my dad wouldn't eat anything else. That's what he grew up with, that's what he eats right and I as foods mayonnaise. Why? Because my grandmother lived with us growing up and my grandmother and my mother would only ever buy best foods mayonnaise.

Brent Dowlen: 15:52

Most of us drew lives with, through our lives, with this impression of what we grew up with right, our surroundings, our circumstances, and we can chase this back to a lot of like I used to as an example. We can chase this back to a lot of things right, and so really big into getting granular when I talk to people about why. Why is this a good idea? Why do you want to do this? Why are you putting? And so I started putting this, screws myself on things like right to get down to a foundation. I had really start putting this on myself. It's like, why do I believe this? Why do I think, why do I do it this way? Why do I do it this way? Why am I so close minded about this Right? And I started really having to dig at me. And there were some really humbling moments in that when it's like, oh, you're an idiot. You've been doing this for all these years. You know how the slide is like yeah, why do you actually do that? Can?

Dai Manuel: 16:57

you have an example? Do you have an example of like one of those moments? Or do you have real life visions Like, was there any like any habits that? Yeah, I can.

Dai Manuel: 17:04

I see this a lot for many of us we struggle with this. We have certain habits that have been solidified, that it's like autopilot, like you said. You know, subconscious does it and we're not even aware of it sometimes, like unconscious snacking, right, like I know I used to have a real challenge at that and also because I was in my youth very much an emotional eater and so there's still that part of me. If my subconscious takes over sometimes and I see food there, especially things that are sweet and savory, I don't discriminate, I'm like, okay, go in my mouth, you know. And I don't even realize that I'm doing it sometimes and it's just because it's that ingrained behavior, right.

Dai Manuel: 17:43

And when I started to question the why, of course I got some professional help as well, not just with that but with some other challenges, people already aware of that and get into it. But he was able to unpack and that's really was the exercise. We're trying to get to the root of what. Why do you have that belief that you have? And there it is hard because ultimately, you're stripping everything away. There's no hiding, you can admit it, right, the good, the bad, the old gosh. And so please continue, because I think this is fascinating, brad, and I appreciate being vulnerable with us today to share about your experience with this.

Brent Dowlen: 18:18

Well, and I can give you an example. Right, I, sarah, will tell you a driver saying I eat the same thing at every restaurant. I'll go to, if I can, mcdonald's, I know what I'm eating. If we go to a jack in box, I know what I'm eating. If I had been there more than once, my wife knows what I'm ordering. I don't even have to be there to order, she does. And because it was just easy, right, I found something I wanted. I didn't want to fry anything else because I paid for this. I don't want to pay for something I don't want I've been to. I went to this like really big restaurant here in Sippingworth West called the Rainforest Cafe.

Brent Dowlen: 18:58

Oh yes, the air is for my friend's birthday party and, like all these people, are ordering these different things, more healthy stuff. I ordered a steak and had this big old steak right. It was horrible. It's the worst steak I've ever gotten at a restaurant.

Dai Manuel: 19:15

I would expect you to say that.

Brent Dowlen: 19:17

It tastes like refried beans, Like oh, I'm talking about $40 or something on a dollar steak.

Brent Dowlen: 19:22

It tastes like I took two bites and I would not eat it. Wow, it was repulsive, right. And then I don't like change. I like the comfort, I like and I don't want to possibly get the bad thing, so I will just. I eat the same thing for decades at the same restaurant without ever trying anything. And now, now for me is change, right Now. I do it honestly because I don't care enough about it to put the emotional energy into it to want to think I'm very conscious of with all the things I try and juggle, with all the things I'm trying to accomplish. I know that I only have so much emotional, mental energy. Is it Zuckerberg or something that has like six t-shirts and they're all black? Right, right, it's the same. The jobs have the same thing.

Dai Manuel: 20:19

All the chiddle necks right, and Einstein had the same wardrobe. You know like it's. Yeah, there's some really impressive people that are in the world. I mean that's thought leaders, right. But you're actually right. They didn't want to waste any time, energy, mental thought or capacity around what they were going to wear every day, and so they just wear the same thing and they'd have multiples of that. I find that super fast. It's like that's that.

Brent Dowlen: 20:44

That's the first. At first it was just purely out of habit, because is what I had always done, and I tried a couple things, but then it was like you know what? I know, I like these. They've always worked for me and, honestly, goodness, I don't care. It's McDonald's, right? I try not to be there anyway. Really, I don't care, right? My wife is always amazed at the what's the right word Because I'm going to say it wrong. People are going to think I'm weird. The lack of amount? I actually care about anything. Is it just word? Apathetic? I always get wrong.

Dai Manuel: 21:29

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you're right, you're right. So it's sort of that lack of of of, just yeah, I mean you just really don't give it that energy, it's not. It's like it's a neutral field, right, yeah.

Brent Dowlen: 21:38

It's like nice and not like and beveling, and beveling oh yeah, yeah, that's yeah. Yeah, right that. I think is that I just I don't care, right If it doesn't. Actually there are a lot of things that I just they're not worth my time or effort.

Dai Manuel: 21:59

But, how do you get to that place, like, because that's a lot of self-awareness as well, but also you've had to done the exercises to get to that level of clarity. You had to ask yourself a lot of why's to get to a place where you say you know that doesn't matter anymore, I just really doesn't require any of my thought, or you know what I mean. Like I got to remember. I don't remember the last time I actually memorized the phone. What Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean, though? Like I mean, nowadays I'm like geez, like who? Like I remember to the point where my phone died and I was like I don't know how to get ahold of it.

Dai Manuel: 22:30

You know like.

Brent Dowlen: 22:31

I don't even know how to wash my life.

Dai Manuel: 22:33

I don't even know like kids sell them, like kids sell them Like there were my phone, my favorite section. But it's wild how just some of our habits and what we used to think and put a lot of weight into and stock Just changed because of how technologies advance and we just don't need to. It's like certain things. It's like I tell my wife about a joke of it. I'm like she always laughs because, like, we'll go. You know you hear this sort of just random trivia and I seem to have a brain to remember useless facts, you know, and that it's always amazing, you know, and her stance is like, oh, just do it, I figure it out, you know, like, and but there's a lot of people that take that approach.

Dai Manuel: 23:09

Now, right, you're not just taking that approach because you've redirected that energy and and you know I want you to finish what we're talking about, but I know this is a great segue into the fallible man philosophy, your podcast and really, you know, after you establish this new foundation, I mean, you catapulted like literally into this whole platform that you've now developed and the amount of energy taunting and resources you've put in to do that, it's nominal and it's not like something that you started 10 years ago. You know like it's incredible. But but that's that level of focus and clarity and really understanding that. Why so? Finish what we were talking about. But then please segue into the fallible man, because I'd love for people to hear about this, because I think it's inspiring, but I also know there's some great wisdom bombs are going to throw it out.

Brent Dowlen: 23:59

Okay. So yeah, you're right, it isn't just one of those things you come to right when you get down and be able to say and, like I said, I makes me sound really bad on some things. My wife was like we'll say something, I'm like don't care. She'll make some random statement or tell me about somebody that she knows and I vaguely like I recognize the name, I'm like don't care. And it was horrible to accept because you know, if you're a very, like, super emotional, empathetic person, right, right, you want to care about. I care about people I can affect. I care about people in my circle, right? People who I'm directly interacting with, people that we knew.

Brent Dowlen: 24:51

I grew up my whole life moving. My dad was a domestic missionary in the United States and so I've lived from coast to coast, quite literally. I went to high school in Wyoming, I graduated from somewhere in Mississippi I've never been to. I've lived in Alxs, virginia, illinois, washington. I mean I've been all over the country and with that there's a lot of goodbyes, which was harder when I was here. But you know Facebook one of the things I don't love about it is my wife will tell me about something, about somebody we haven't actually interacted with other than on Facebook in 20 years, and I'm like I don't care Deep. Every now and then I'll see a post from one of the kids, cause he used to be a youth minister, and so every now and then I'll post from one of the kids that I was a significant factor in their life growing up and I look at it long enough to go. That's awesome. My issue would be great and that's about the level. That's right. That's it Moving on right.

Brent Dowlen: 25:52

And this comes from my background in training, in physical training, and one of the things I learned a long time ago is you only have so much when you walk in the door at the gym, right? You understand this concept really well? Yeah, right, if people want to put it in their head, think of walking in with a milk jug in your hand, a full milk jug. You walk into the gym and you take a pin and you punch the hole in the bottom of the milk jug when you walk in the door. Dude, that's what you got, that's it.

Brent Dowlen: 26:28

When it's done, you're done. It doesn't matter what exercises you did or how hard you work, even necessarily mentally and emotionally, which is what's helping with that physical. You have so much capacity and then you're done. Sure, right, yeah, that started translating into the rest of my life, like where am I spending time and energy, both mentally and emotionally, and sometimes physically, but really is not doing anything for me, right? I started weeding things like video games out of my life. I stopped playing. I played War of the Warcraft from the time it came out for almost eight years.

Dai Manuel: 27:11

You and my brother must have played with each other. I swear he was dude. I only want to get started like but they, I would not see him. I remember back in the day like we'd hear from him. I just like he's gone. Oh yeah, there was an extension pack that came out, yeah.

Brent Dowlen: 27:26

And the next version, oh yeah.

Dai Manuel: 27:29

Yeah, yeah, totally.

Brent Dowlen: 27:30

Well, so there's a feature in the game where you can type in the chat slash played, backslash played. You know, I'll tell you how much time you spent on that character total. Oh gosh, that's scary. It was because I did that with all of my tunes and did the math I lost three years of my life to gaming.

Dai Manuel: 27:50

Whoa, are you serious? That's intense man.

Brent Dowlen: 27:52

So that's commitment Three years.

Dai Manuel: 27:57

Wow.

Brent Dowlen: 27:59

I wish I could say that was an exaggeration. I didn't think. I was like to me. I was still a casual gamer, I was an elite level gamer.

Brent Dowlen: 28:07

Actually, wow, I was one of the first people in the world into Ice Crown Citadel, which was the second expansion. One of the first players in the world to go into that place. I've played at an elite level and I realized how much I lost in that. Right, I had a lot of fun, I made some great friends, some people I still keep on talking to it but I realized in three years I did nothing for me, nothing for my, nothing for my real life. I wasn't making money, I wasn't getting paid to play. Right, this was before. Streaming was really a huge thing and it's like right. And I found that several years before I started this journey, but down with a way, when I started looking at things to go, how much time I was spending watching television.

Dai Manuel: 29:01

How many?

Brent Dowlen: 29:01

shows. At one point I was keeping up with 14 different TV shows. Wow, the hours a week that turns into your die, especially if you fall behind Sure, yeah, yeah Cause then you're benched to catch up, right. I came home from work and I watched television. I went to bed that's what I did to keep up with my shows, and so I really started looking at where my emotional and mental energy was going and what it was doing, and the more I started looking at it, energy flows right.

Dai Manuel: 29:35

Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: 29:36

The more I looked at that, it was like I don't care, it doesn't matter. I have clothes on Good, I'm good. Right, I'll dress up before formal occasion. I have. I have jeans and T-shirt on I'm good, Right. What I get at McDonald's, don't care. What are we doing this weekend, don't really care. You know I'm working, unless you tell me I'm doing something else. My wife knows, unless she tells me we have plans. I'm either doing something with my wife and kids or I'm working. Those are the options, right, right, I put my time and energy now in places where I feel moved to go, where I feel like making a difference with those assets, because that's the only thing that's finite.

Brent Dowlen: 30:25

Right, there's only so much I can pour in and so much energy behind that and so much time. But one thing I did take away from my dad over the years was I set by so many deathbeds. People reached out over the years. I listened to so many people lament the important things in life. There's actually a nurse Bonyware, five Regrets of the Dine. Nurse who wrote about it. Yeah, bonyware. Yeah, okay, five Regrets of the Dine.

Dai Manuel: 31:00

Yeah, I mentioned on previous episodes, my key notes. I talked about it quite frequently because I just it was one of the most impactful books I think I've ever read. To be honest with you, it's up there with, like there's a couple other books, like Bitter Frankles books and a couple other, but I mean that was so impactful. So please, yeah, stand on that, because I think this is great. I lived in this with my dad being a preacher and my dad was a picturesque minister.

Brent Dowlen: 31:25

There were jokes in the towns we lived in. You could not go to the hospital from that town without my dad coming to see you. Then matter if you were going to make a church that he preached, that yeah, if you were a member of our community. He had contacts with a hospital who sent him names every week and say, hey, so and so from your town is there because we live in these small towns, right, and my dad was in the hospital busy people from our town mowing lawns. He'd drive around on his lawnmower and mow people's lawns, so they didn't have to worry about it and their family didn't have to worry about it, right?

Dai Manuel: 32:00

So I spent a lot of time around older people and I spent a lot of time with my dad.

Brent Dowlen: 32:05

I spent a lot of time around older people and people towards end of life and I listened to them. No one ever said I wish I worked more on this or that, right, no one said I wish to be.

Brent Dowlen: 32:16

Yes, but over and over again I heard people limit the relationships they dropped, but they didn't do more with their life, but they didn't work harder to stay connected with people or to serve more. It was never a man. I wish I had gotten a little higher in the company. It was. It's uh, I wish I had done something more meaningful. No man.

Brent Dowlen: 32:44

I've known millionaires who Right, and they put it square. I had one of them who was a family friend and I asked him one point. It's like how do you share so readily? Because he let me and my sister take his Cadillac one day. He wanted to ride in the back of the suburb of my parents, so they talk a little longer. So we stayed at their house and we're leaving. Hey, we're all going to the same place for lunch. He's like well, you guys taking cat brand new Cadillac, right? He's like rent Katie's older, so she gets to drive. But you, I want you to figure out what all these buttons do and tell me. I got no freaking clue. But he was like this with everything he owned and he said Brent, if I have something I can't share with somebody, it means too much and it goes.

Brent Dowlen: 33:27

The guy was money, I mean, but there was nothing, he wouldn't get you, and All this just started putting this perspective in my life. So when I moved years forward to this right, I Started looking. I'm emotional, I don't have a lot of money at the moment, right, that's. I'm not a rich guy, so I'm giving you what I have. But what do I have? I have my time, I have my energy, have my caring and that's what I can get, right. Yeah, that's how we say way into the fallible man is.

Brent Dowlen: 33:59

So years ago we used to have friends over. Like every week we'd have 12 to 14 people in my house on Thursday nights and it was my wife and I's co-worker friends and friends, and it was mostly women. One or two other guys, but it was mostly women. I've listened to them talk about, you know, their boyfriends or their husbands and they're he's doing this or he's doing that, right, and I translate Like oh no, what he's actually doing is this. And they like you need, you need to write a book on this. I'm not that and anybody who's familiar with current philosophies on life, that's a loaded gun. Mansplaining anything to a woman is this is a loaded gun.

Brent Dowlen: 34:50

And I also thought it's like is this the best thing I can do, because it made me more aware of this disconnect and this frustration. I Also have I got to count now nine or ten nieces, and Now I have two daughters. Yeah, yeah, a lot of women in my life. I grew up with a lot of women in my life and I have one set of nieces. They're all in their 20s now, right. And then I have all the way down to infants between two sides of the family.

Brent Dowlen: 35:24

But I started looking at them and I started thinking about all the teenage girls I worked with over the years and the frustrations with boys, mm-hmm, careless, careless boys right, that's, that's from I would use, and all this with their emotions. And I thought about it. It's like but were they, or do they just not know any better? Right? And so this idea started morph into how can I help women by helping men, mm-hmm. And Then it just fall full of boring to. You know what? What we have control over is us. What I can affect is us. So how do I start helping men? Because we start fixing a lot of problems, right, I'm a big statistics guy. So we start fixing a lot of problems when we start getting men involved With young people in healthy way.

Brent Dowlen: 36:23

Right, you look at dads. You look at the number of the statistics that come from fatherless homes. You know, right, he dads are dads that just aren't really there, even though they're there physically. It's like, huh, are you looking at young men struggling with their problems with their emotions or understanding how their feelings work yourself? Like that? It's like it's because their dads weren't taught how to do that. Right? Who's yeah, I mean men that there's more to life than going to work? Who's teaching men that it's okay To put something into yourself and live a bigger life? I wasn't. I had a really good dad and he still could only teach me so much of that, because that's a lot of huge Right, his focus was on faith and I had an amazing father and he lived a huge life when it came to faith and loving us.

Brent Dowlen: 37:19

There was never any question of my mind about that, but it's like I had the benefit of having dad who said it's okay, I cry, avoid, if I, if I can, but if I can't, you throw the first part first punch and you throw it so hard they're not getting up. Actually, my dad 11 years old, so you know I had a dad who was okay with the emotional mental aspects, very well rounded why he cried in movies. He used to tease him all the time. Now I cry in movies and my kids tease me simple circle there. But I had this benefit of having a dad who was always there and was always okay and he understood when I started going through problems with anger issues my junior high years and that right, and he helped me find ways to Get that energy out Mm-hmm and process that in a healthier way, even when that healthier way was me coming home to split and would he didn't make me split right home in split. We're excited to hit something right. Yes, for being bullied in junior high.

Brent Dowlen: 38:28

And so I Started looking at this giant like that. My perspective on this ball of mess just got bigger and bigger is like what can I do? Because it boils down to what can I do, I'm just Brent. So I actually started writing a book and I started looking into self-publishing is like okay, if anyone other than my mom or my wife is gonna read this, I I gotta reach more people. So I did the smart you know thing you do and I jump on social media. Turns out I don't media, I'm not really rated social media, because I'm not rated social media because I don't like social media, right, and took about two and a half weeks to figure out that was not gonna be a good platform for me. Yeah, and I've grown up speaking, so I thought, hey, I can talk, I'll talk your ear off. Simple podcast is a good platform for me. I still haven't finished the book, as you know, but I had. I've restarted it three times but I haven't finished it yet.

Brent Dowlen: 39:30

But it became what can I do? Right, and the first thing I wanted to make sure that everybody knew I wasn't trying to pretend I had all the answers. Nobody likes that. Absolutely no other world wants to listen to that guy. I Don't want to listen to that guy, and so we started to be fallible man.

Brent Dowlen: 39:49

I wanted everybody know, really clearly, I'm not perfect, I'm on a journey. I mean, I want you to come with me, right, I want you to come along and we're gonna learn lessons together and I'm gonna bring people in to teach us lessons and I'm gonna share some thoughts with you and right, and we're just gonna build this place where men can Invest in themselves, where men can grow, where men can pursue the things they're meant to do. So many of us don't ever pursue anything bigger than that house, Family, car, job. That's it right, we've hit the pedicol. Yay, the only bigger pinnacle is to make more money and have a bigger house and more spin. No, it was really fun, and so we built this platform to focus on the very different aspects, because men aren't two dimensional, neither women. But, like said I, you know my feelings about mansplaining, so, oh yeah, you're not well. So we told me it was fail. Like I was told from the beginning, I would fail, absolutely. What that's crazy.

Dai Manuel: 40:57

Oh yeah.

Brent Dowlen: 40:58

I'm glad you've proven them wrong. Man. Yeah, I actually had a YouTube coach tell me I was absolutely gonna fail. He said I love what, I love your passion, I love what you're doing From vid IQ. Tell me I was gonna fail. I what? That's really a ghost. You broad, you're not niche enough. I said, yeah, yeah, you know what and I get that for YouTube.

Brent Dowlen: 41:20

Yeah but I'm not just a 40 year old dad of daughters In a white color. That's not just me. I'm deeper than that. So I can't make a product that just focuses on that guy Right. There's more to him than that and we got to address all those things. We have to give him the tools and the ideas and some concepts so he can tweak the things in his life. He needs a tweak. If I don't know him, yes, yes, what you need to just in your life, to live your best life, only you can decide. I Can give you lots of tools and you can pick through my shows and find what's gonna feed you To help those desires and ambitions. But I can't just focus on this one thing, because that's not. That's not a person. So sorry, I was a little bit away but that's it.

Dai Manuel: 42:16

You know what. I think it's important to address this because it's also that's the best way you're saying it. I've seen the diversity of content on your platform, but it's still all gearing towards one message, right, and it really stands. And I can see this so clearly because of that question. You asked yourself at 12, right, basically, you know, what do I want on my tombstone, right? What do I want to be remembered at? You know how do I want to lead my mark on this world? And you know, really, it's being a good man, a good father, a good husband, a good human beneath.

Dai Manuel: 42:55

Yeah, and you're absolutely right, because we all learn through two methods, predominantly two methods, and that's modeling and mentorship, and I find that that is what your platform does so beautifully well. And then, you know, when you started doing the conference as well, it was just a massive extension of that, but it was able to bring all those people now that become avid fans but also student of your content, and I love it too, because you always put yourself word as on the student too. You know, and I think that is why the empathy that comes through your conversations and just your vulnerability, like it's wonderful to see that being modeled as a man, you know, because it's just not happening enough as far as I'm concerned. It's happening more and more. Now I mean, you know, I'm not going to go talk about the woke movement and all this other stuff. I'm not going to go there and I'm going to talk about male toxicity and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Brent Dowlen: 43:52

Well, that's the problem. We have pinchlings. Yes, right, if you look into male culture, you have one extreme or the other. Right, we got the guys just dumping the old Tim Allen, right we I'm a huge Tim Allen fan, so funny man, I used to like running and growling and the guys you know saying eat raw meat and go there. And then we've got the guys who are just like mean or bad. It's like, yeah, can we stop? Can we stop with this huge pinchle of swing and just meet somewhere where we're all whole?

Dai Manuel: 44:31

Thank you.

Brent Dowlen: 44:32

Thank you.

Dai Manuel: 44:33

I love that because you're also creating a space for that conversation to be explored and you know we can do.

Dai Manuel: 44:41

A theme of this show is this 2% solution and I'd love to talk about how it's aligned, what we're both doing, because I've seen this in action, being someone that's been to your conferences, listened to your show for a long time.

Dai Manuel: 44:54

We've become fast friends.

Dai Manuel: 44:55

You know, we're both fathers of daughters, like it's just, we've become good friends and and I mean it's amazing when you get around certain people and you vibe on the same level and you have similar aspirations. It's interesting how quickly things solidify but also how motivating and inspiring it can be for that relationship because it's like, wow, you know, it's like I'm not alone in this want and desire and goal and it's just that's the power of community, you know, and feeling like you really belong somewhere and I know that's what you've been building and you do it so beautifully well. And so how do you think your methods align with the 2% philosophy, 2% solution philosophy as it relates to these small incremental changes of significant results, like four significant results, because we know that this compound effects work great, both to negatively and positive right, and I know that this is also something that is underpinning a lot of the content you put in there, because you're empowering people to try the things that they're learning. You know, and so do you mind speaking to that for a minute or two?

Brent Dowlen: 46:00

Yeah, no, I actually. So when you named your show, I wanted to laugh because it was like we are so in on vibe on this, because one of my biggest philosophies with the Falbman, one of the four tenants of our community, and what I share with people, is the saying be better tomorrow because of what you do to bring that down a step further. It's all. All I'm recommending to anybody is take one step today, right. One step because this started. This goes back to me right, educating myself on finances. I started because I got off my desk, because I worked in a very desk oriented job and I would take my lunch break and walk around the building and just do last rub building because I realized I wasn't moving enough. Right. And then that went from me walking around the building listening to music to me walk around the building listening to books and podcasts Right, I said, yeah, one thing I was going to do better today Maybe that was bringing my lunch instead of going to McDonald's Right. And I said one thing and as a personal trainer, right, you can align with this.

Brent Dowlen: 47:20

We see things in our clients that they don't see themselves. Right, I saw, yes, the rest set, the rest time between their sets with down 30 seconds. I saw they didn't struggle as hard on that last rep of the last set. They didn't see plates go up. They didn't see numbers go up. I saw it Right, but we know that's the secret to getting stronger. Those are all the signs. You just don't see them as readily. It's the same thing. Can you imagine if you took one thing right, took one positive choice every single day, the compounding effect of one better choice 365 days a year? Dude.

Dai Manuel: 48:00

I mean, that's the amount of change you would experience, but also that just surgeons of confidence through seeing that progress in your life. But the cool thing is it's intentional progress that you achieve through the work that you do and action. You know we're getting to the end here and I was like, oh my gosh, I can't believe how long we've been jamming, for it's like this is my marathon episode. But what would be that one thing that you would encourage people to do what you've done? We want to invite everyone that's listening right now. They're resonating with what you're saying.

Dai Manuel: 48:38

They're like, yeah, I'm at a place in my life where I do feel like I'm ready to make some big changes. I don't know what I want to do yet, but I know I don't want to keep doing what I'm doing. You know, I know that I can't accept that anymore. The status quo has got to change and that often involves personal change, right and beliefs shifts, et cetera. And what would be an activity that we can encourage people that are listening to this right now? To try, for 30 minutes or less a day for a good solid seven days, to experience a little bit of what you've been sharing today?

Brent Dowlen: 49:12

Honestly, yeah, find a podcast or book and listen for 30 minutes a day.

Brent Dowlen: 49:21

And it can be on anything that gets you excited. As far as you don't necessarily know where you want to go. You know you won't change your life and you haven't isolated that why you haven't isolated that foundation of what's important to you. So start experimenting with things that excite you. Maybe that's, you know, a book that helps you move forward at work. Maybe that's a book that helps you educate on something you've always wanted to do. But find a podcast, find a book and listen to it for 20 or 30 minutes a day. Right, 30 minutes a day is the 2% solution. Yeah, but start fishing for what actually moves you. So try and try and just until you find something that starts moving the needle for you.

Dai Manuel: 50:10

I love that, yeah, because it's also it's a simple, and I'm not saying easy, but it's a simple thing to commit to and it's actually like the nice thing about podcasting and these types of platforms we can do it while we're doing something else, like we can sort of cascade them, like one of my favorite things is to go for a walk or a bike ride and just put on a podcast or an audio book or, you know, sometimes music, yeah, of course, but a lot of times I like to get, because I find that I also retain the information, but I better connect to the content when I'm doing something physical. That's just me, you know, and but I love what you've just shared. I think it's just so simple. But I also know when that lands with somebody and they stumble upon that as I'm excited and that needle starts to shift. That's a whole new perspective that opens up. And and I got to say everybody, you know, if you're going to commit to this for next week, that valuable man podcast would be a good one to listen to, and so just you know, I apologize, I'm going to have to get you back, brent, we're going to get you back. So are you ready if you're thinking let's get Brent back again, because I also know you might have some very specific questions and I hope you guys send those out my way. I'll make sure that Brent gets them. We can address those. But I'm going to definitely have Brent back in a couple of months here because we basically just touched the iceberg.

Dai Manuel: 51:32

You know, just a tip today, and but I want to give you the opportunity, brent, to really leave us with she party motivational motivations, my message, you know, and and then we'll also chat about how you can best stay connected with Brent and we'll we'll get to that and we'll finish up today and I'm sorry, it feels like I'm rushing to finish it and I'm like, why could this? The time is just flowed, you know, it's just blown. So, brent, what can you leave with us today, if there was? You know there's someone listening to us right now. They're struggling. They're feeling like how you felt a number of years ago, maybe feeling a little bit stuck, or maybe like they're not seeing progress in life, but rather maybe it seems more aggression in life, you know. But they're not feeling fulfilled, joyful, happy with their day to day. So what would be a very piece of advice you can leave them with today?

Brent Dowlen: 52:23

Well, you know, being a girl, dad, let it go. Elsa nailed it. So many people are carrying so much weight from something they can't change, from the way they grew up, whether it's bad experiences, trauma, and we didn't even go like, I can go down that road right, but whatever was it happened yesterday, it's gone. You've got to learn to let go, because it's a whole lot harder to move forward and add better things to your life when you're carrying all the crap with you.

Dai Manuel: 52:58

I dropped the mic. No don't. You got an expensive one and mine's new. I don't want to break it, but well said, and I guess we excited Just hearing that Like it's just like again. I just feel the vibrations in me. When you spoke, you spoke to that and you know today you've covered a lot. We've covered a big span of Brent's life, but we've only covered some of the milestones.

Dai Manuel: 53:23

We haven't even got into the nitty gritty yet, and that's again another reason why you want to listen to this podcast, because I've got to tell you there's one thing about Brent he tells a great story and his podcasts are extremely entertaining from the story perspective, but that's how we all learn and how we remember is through storytelling, and so thank you for just constantly putting out such wonderful content and showing what's possible, not telling what's possible. There's a big difference, a big difference, and I appreciate that and I appreciate you, and so thank you for being here today, brent, and for those that want to really get a little bit of a taste of what it's like to be connected with Brent, what was the best platform that you recommend? I mean, besides your podcast and I know your affinity for social media isn't the best, but regardless, you do pretty well on Instagram. I see you putting that fairly regular content. So if there was a social platform for people to connect with beyond along with following your podcast, what would be the best platform?

Brent Dowlen: 54:23

I would say Instagram right now is my focus. I'm trying to be more present on it because I'm not always on the best on it. So that's a great place to reach out to me, because, besides the regular posts, I throw a lot more open personal stuff in the stories as well. So if you want to see, you know for yourself. This is who he is really. That's all. I don't hide anything, so that's a great place to find me. I'm the fallible man on Instagram Perfect.

Dai Manuel: 54:50

Does he all on the show notes as well? Everybody, along with links to the podcast. There's a really cool episode with some dudes from Vancouver on the fallible man podcast here and he's been on there a couple of times. Forget the guy's name, but I think if you look it up you'll find it Pretty much you might have suds.

Brent Dowlen: 55:05

Yeah yeah, beat your dup suds.

Dai Manuel: 55:10

Just don't share it when they're out. I'm heading away.

Dai Manuel: 55:14

I just kind of say thank you. You know, and for everyone that listened and watched today, like, please, recognize a lot of what we cover. These are just real life examples of how all of us are working through the changes that our hearts want to make. You know, I think we're always logically trying to work through change, but we really don't make the significant changes to the heart and our emotional state on lines with the logical state. That's what I've experienced in my own life. You know, the emotions get us started. The brain's going to keep us going, yeah, and it works back and forth. And so please do check out and connect with Brent, check out the Followable man Podcast.

Dai Manuel: 55:52

I know we didn't even get to touch on the conferences, but there's so much content around the conferences and I know there'll be another one later next year, most likely. But I know I'm going to get you back once we've announced the next conference. We'll get you back on to talk all about just the conference and what Mention looks forward to, because I know I'll be there again third year in a row and I'm excited for it. You know we're looking forward to it. So any last words you'd like to leave us with today, brent, before we go?

Brent Dowlen: 56:21

Be better tomorrow because of what you do today.

Dai Manuel: 56:25

Thanks, brent, appreciate you being here, man. Much love to you and your family and I'm excited to have you back in the next couple of months.

Brent Dowlen: 56:32

Oh man anytime.

Dai Manuel: 56:38

That wraps up our enlightening conversation with Brent Fowlelin, the visionary behind the FowlableMancom and the FowlableMan podcast. Brent's journey and the wisdom he shared today are a testament to the power of embracing our vulnerabilities and turning them into strengths. His actionable advice provides a blueprint for anyone looking to make significant strides in personal development and lifestyle enhancement, For today's episode inspired you. We encourage you to take Brent's insights to heart and start incorporating them into your daily routine. Remember to explore more about Brent and his work at thefowlablemancom and tune into the FowlableMan podcast for regular doses of inspiration and practical tips. If you enjoyed our discussion, please subscribe to the 2% Solution podcast, share this episode with friends or family who might benefit and leave us a review. Your support helps us reach more people and make a bigger impact One, two percent shift at a time. Keep striving for improvement and let's continue our journey towards becoming the best versions of ourselves together. See you next time.