The Weight of Willpower: Carl Berryman's Path to Purposeful Fitness

In this transformation-focused episode, host Dai Manuel interviews the incredible Carl Berryman, a men's health advocate, mental health warrior, and embodiment of living with intention. 

Carl shares his journey from personal training to significant mental health advocacy, bringing a unique perspective on emotional fitness.

In an intimate and revealing conversation, Carl contributes to a meaningful discussion about vulnerability's vital role in our lives, support's importance, and resilience's power in overcoming challenges.

Tune in as Carl introduces us to his 'mental muscle up,' a five-step daily routine designed to create intentional, tiny transformations in our day-to-day lives and an element that has played a crucial role in his transformation.

On his way to redefining masculine vulnerability, Carl urges when you're under the weight of the world, it's okay to ask for a spot, emphasizing the importance of support and mental health.

Listen to how this man, once lost in himself, rose to embark on a journey of self-discovery by living life on his terms. Get inspired as Carl opens up about his daily routine, favorite transformational book, and the workouts that mirror his life.

Discover why massive changes start with small, consistent steps. Tune in for a dose of inspiration, share in the laughter, learn from the wisdom, and maybe, just maybe, get a little bit entertained. Ready to ignite your impact with Carl Berryman? Let's dive deep!

Connect with Carl

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Chapters

• 0:06 Power of Transformation and Intention
• 7:37 Living Authentically and Overcoming Challenges
• 17:07 Implementing a Journaling System
• 25:14 Books Transforming Personal Lives
• 32:29 Men's Mental Health and Life Transitions
• 38:47 CrossFit Origin Stories and Mental Muscle

Transcript

Dai Manuel: 0:06

Welcome back to the 2% Solution Podcast, where small changes lead to . impacts in your life. M d , and today we have a guest who personifies transformation inside and out. He's a man of wisdom, a peak in positivity and a testament to the power of vulnerability. Friends, get ready for a deep dive with the amazing Carl Berryman. Carl is more than just a personal trainer. He's a men's health advocate, a mental health warrior and an inspiration to us all.

Dai Manuel: 0:35

From his unique approach to fitness to his heartfelt journey toward personal growth, carl embodies the essence of what it means to live with intention. So buckle up, grab your notebooks and let's get ready to be inspired, educated and maybe even a little bit entertained. It's time to ignite your impact with Carl Berryman. Let's go. Welcome Carl and welcome back everybody. You heard in the intro how amazing this man is and how we came to be connected and we continue to reconnect, which I absolutely love. He's becoming not only a fast friend, a great confidant, someone that I can master mine with we thought of, but also which you'll see today also another dude I can get vulnerable with, and it takes a lot of trust for men especially, to be open with other men, and I've talked endlessly about that, so, without further ado, what's up, carl?

Carl Berryman: 1:30

Welcome, buddy. Thanks so much for having me on. I'm honored to be on the podcast, but then just always pumped to have a conversation with you because you were a really nice surprise in my life in that when Philip hooked us up and I listened to you on his podcast, I'm like, yeah, this will be a guy I resonate with. But I had no idea just how much, how quickly and how deeply it was going to happen. So, yeah, this has been nice. It's been nice Just another chat with another good brother. So I'm pumped.

Dai Manuel: 1:57

I love it, man, and I appreciate being here, man, because it's like, for those that don't know, Carl's got just a great platform and you'll be able to check out the show and I've got links to everything. But you got to follow him on Instagram and I'm not a kind of guy that says you got to. I usually invite people but I'm like, no, you got to Because you're going to get daily doses of wisdom bombs, but also a lot of motivational and inspirational information and a whole lot of education too, and we're going to dive into that. And so, Carl, I want to open up because I think this is the most relevant and I think it's a wonderful way to sort of introduce your philosophy at Ignite the Impact.

Dai Manuel: 2:31

And that's specifically, you're a pro, not only a bro, but a pro at taking gym lessons into real life, and I was wondering if you could give an example of not only a gym lesson that's been a game changer for your daily routine, but also how do you even come to this sort of worldly perspective, this amazing analogy or similar, I guess, more of a metaphor that we can really I align with? The first time you told me I was like, dude, that is awesome. I wish I thought of that, but it's exactly what I thought, right? So take it away, man. I want to share with everybody because I think it's phenomenal.

Carl Berryman: 3:05

Well, thanks very much for those kind words. First of all and it's funny you just you allowed me to check off one of my boxes where on my to-do lists was wishing that I had done something that somebody else wished they had done first. So that's perfect. That's perfect For me. Yeah, like I've been a personal trainer going on 13 years now, and this whole practical, metaphorical application about works inside the gym and applying it outside the gym just happened when I hit one of my rock bottoms back in 2020 and suffering from severe depression. My partner, jenny Lee, and I, who will be soon celebrating 10 years together at that time, we took thank you, thank you.

Carl Berryman: 3:49

At that time, we took a three month separation, which we didn't know we were going to get back together because our relationship was not where it wanted to be and, despite being a personal trainer, my body was not where I wanted it to be either. I wasn't in horrible shape, but I definitely didn't look the way that I, in my head, thought that I should. And one day I decided okay, I need to get serious and I'm going to start with my physical health and fitness, transform my body in a really short period of time in about 63 days, I think it was, and then, for some reason, after that transformation, I was still separated, with Jenny Lee at the time, from Jenny Lee at the time still going through my depression, and it just a voice came to my head and said, carl, what if you just started applying the same principles that work for you inside the gym outside the gym? And so one of the things that I always focused on in the gym, but definitely more so during this time, was getting crystal clear on what I was measuring. And the reason why I wanted to get crystal clear on what I was measuring is because what spawned this whole body transformation was.

Carl Berryman: 4:53

I took a before photo, if you will, standing in the mirror with my shirt off December 4th 2020. Little did I know that I had taken one exactly a year ago to the day, and those two pictures looked exactly the same, despite me thinking I was doing everything that I was supposed to do to get better. And so I'm like okay, first thing I need to do is I need to start measuring, like, specifically, what am I looking to do with my body and so with my lifts and everything like that? And I was like, okay, so that obviously worked there. It's okay If my relationship was also in horrible shape.

Carl Berryman: 5:26

What was I measuring inside of my relationship? And I wasn't measuring anything. I wasn't tracking anything. I didn't have my three big lifts that I have now. So, just like you got your squat, your bench, your dead inside the gym, that those are the ones that are going to give you the biggest bang for your buck, those are the ones that's where all strength starts with. Okay, so inside of my relationship, what would be the equivalent of a bench press, what would be the equivalent of a deadlift? What would be the equivalent of a what should we call it of a squat? And so I figured those things out for me and I started tracking them, and not only that, but using progressive overload in my relationships. So, whether it was in the bedroom, whether it was communication, just every single week trying to get a little bit better, a little bit better, a little bit better. And then here we are today and things are a little bit different, to say the least.

Dai Manuel: 6:12

A little bit, it's a whole lot different, but with great intention.

Dai Manuel: 6:16

I think this is also just a wonderful example of what happens when you do not only live intentionally but you follow through on those personal commitments you make to yourself which are not the easiest commitments to maintain.

Dai Manuel: 6:27

And I just and I appreciate you because you all speak to that, you speak to that and you're also you're very empathetic right In your content period, which I resonate very much you have this similar belief and just it's tough love. But at the same time you relate with where people are at. And I guess, before we get into the mental muscle up because I want to talk about that, I think it's really a core principle in your entire philosophy and I think it's a really neat piece to talk about how it's helped you. But also I think this is something that all of us potentially I mean and I know you're going to give us a great exercise a little bit later, so see planted. But before that, on these application forms and everyone, you can hear this every time I talk about guys, but I have some interesting questions and everyone's well. I like to pick one of those questions out and throw it at the guests and I resonated very much.

Dai Manuel: 7:09

It's probably also because of my age, but you mentioned limp biscuit, my way your favorite track and that's actually my way is it's the version of Sinatra, isn't it? Is that you redoing the Sinatra song, or there's riff on that? Right, I had no idea. Oh wow, Well, no, but I think there's a line in there that's like from Sinatra song. I did it my way.

Carl Berryman: 7:28

But yeah, okay, I know exactly what you're talking about.

Dai Manuel: 7:30

Yes, yeah, but I love that you talked about that being your theme song and I'm like dude, that is. I remember going to the mosh pit at Lola Plaza back in late nineties, right, and I remember limp biscuit coming on. That was the last time I ever went into mosh pit, I'll just tell you that right now, and it was crazy, and I was when you said your theme song. I'm like, well, there's gotta be a story to this. How does that track mirror your approach to life, but also how you overcome challenges?

Carl Berryman: 7:56

One of the things that I came to realize the hard way when I got divorced from my ex-wife was I was wearing a mask and trying to be somebody that I just simply was not. And the biggest lesson I got out of that divorce was I'd rather people hate me for who I am than love me for who I'm not. And don't get me wrong. There are, like actually was funny because you're talking about the mental muscle up. I did one of those. It was yesterday, actually based on a quote from Alex Hermosi, and he talked about how accepting who you are, accepting what your feelings are, and not labeling your feelings wrong, how that is so important. And so I just too many times I've worked towards achieving specific goals that I knew deep down weren't what I really wanted, only to achieve them and then get exactly what I deserve at the end, which is total lack of fulfillment and disappointment because I was chasing the wrong thing and I was pleasing the wrong people. And so now it's just, it's become. I've gotten very clear on the fact that, at the end of the day, as much as I would love to have more downloads on the podcast, as much as I would love to have the journal flying off the shelves or, ooh what, the Millions of followers. I say I would love that, but really I don't, because that's it doesn't matter.

Carl Berryman: 9:24

How am I sharing the most important time that I have with the most important people in my life? That's it Like. Am I having conversations like this with men like you on the regular basis? Yes or no? If the answer is yes, I can check off the fulfillment box. If the answer is no, then something needs to be adjusted and my attention isn't going where it needs to go. So living my way is just really making sure that daily checking in, carl, what is important to you and are you living in alignment with that, yes or no? If the answer is no, then, okay, reach out to somebody like Dai for a spot and get you back on track. Yeah, I.

Dai Manuel: 9:59

That's such a great metaphor. I love it, I love it, I love it.

Carl Berryman: 10:02

I love it.

Dai Manuel: 10:03

Anyway, okay, and I also appreciate that song because it's something really cool. I don't think I've shared this with anybody yet, but I'll tell you, carl, you're all here right now. I've been slowly. I've had over 150 applications so far for this podcast. Everyone's given me their favorite track. I'm going to make a 2% solution, 2% collective playlist on Spotify of everybody's favorite theme song, right, yes? And so I can't wait to get Limp Bizkit on there, man.

Carl Berryman: 10:26

That's such a cool idea.

Dai Manuel: 10:28

But wait till you see the eclectic mix. Man, it is such a mix of tunes, it's going to be like the most eclectic playlist of all, but the funny thing is it's Anyway. So I appreciate it, because you've given the hardest tunes, the one with the best bass line especially.

Carl Berryman: 10:42

Ah, okay, I like that award. Ah, that's. Oh.

Dai Manuel: 10:46

Okay. As a coffee lover and a morning bird, yeah. How do you kickstart your day for maximum impact? Because you are very much someone that believes in ritual and the power of ritual, and that's how you've created all the results that you experienced over the last few years. So what is Ysieprasas for you in the mornings?

Carl Berryman: 11:04

A very elaborate morning routine in that I've been doing the same morning routine for probably five years now. It's funny when you get your. So my morning routine goes like this Wake up. Hopefully you don't have to take the dogs out just yet because they're not up as early as I am. So wake up, go to Ashram, put the like pound some water first thing. Put the coffee pot on, go, lay down 10 to 12 minutes in meditation and then I have a playlist on Spotify where I run through.

Carl Berryman: 11:34

There's about eight songs that I listen to every single morning. So when I got my recap from Spotify it's like oh, the top listened songs of the year. It's the same as last year and the year before where I listened to a song Literally 376 times because I listened to these songs every single morning. So the first song is just a really nice relaxing song called Lachluis, and it's just a really good way to keep the meditation vibration going. And then right after that there's a song called Damfine Coffee, and that's when I have my first sip of coffee, which is beautiful.

Carl Berryman: 12:06

And then right after that there's a couple of songs that are also just keeping the vibrational frequency going, but then songs get very intentional. There's one where it's about two minutes long, but I review my previous day because every day in my phone I have a note for all my little wins. So my little wins are the people I've connected with and the little things I can check off. Say, for example, today I'll have podcasts with Dai on there and I connected with Dai and I'll have, let's say, about a dozen people I connected with and then a bunch of little wins, and I just check those boxes just to remind myself that I had an amazing day yesterday. And then I set it to scratch again and then right after that is when the mental muscle upstarts and that's the sweet spot of the morning. Morning routine is usually about an hour and a half.

Dai Manuel: 12:53

Wow. But you get up early because you also recognize the importance of that. So you are willing to make that time and that time from yourself.

Carl Berryman: 13:03

You know what I mean. Like it's like it's.

Dai Manuel: 13:06

I want people to hear this.

Carl Berryman: 13:08

OK.

Carl Berryman: 13:08

So it's funny you mentioned that because this morning, for example, I have a client. I train him at his house at 6.45. So my alarm goes off at 4.05. And I've thought about so many times what if I do my morning routine when I get home because I'm home by 9 o'clock I can do it at 9 and then just know it's like going to the gym and trying to do your max lift without doing your mobility and your warm upsets first, and I just I don't. I know I'm going to get hurt if I don't do my mobility and my warm upsets at the gym and my morning routine is my mobility and my warm upsets for the ultimate workout. That is everyday life, so yeah.

Dai Manuel: 13:44

Well said. Ok, I know we've mentioned it and I know people are like come on, can you get to the freaking mental muscle up? I got to ask that question because I know people are already. I can hear them in the car right now. What can you get to the point? I wonder what this meant. The most mental muscle up, what is it and how is it revolutionized your life? Because I love to hear the examples of that in action and some of the results helped you foster. Yeah, I also think that might be a little exercise we talk about in 20 minutes or so.

Carl Berryman: 14:09

So yeah, for sure, for sure. No, the mental muscle up. Really, for me, it was the answer to how is it that I'm consuming so much content? I'm spending thousands of dollars on coaching and courses and everything like that, and yet when I compare the facts of my life from one year to the next, they're not changing. And so what I realize is I've had so many journals throughout the year whether it's the secret journal that I filled for those out and writing out your affirmations, don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with that. But nothing will ever trump action, specific action that is tailored towards specific goals. So say, for example, today I'm going into the gym. I know today is chest day, ok, so I've got, I've got bench press supersetted with a flat dumbbell press, I've got incline dumbbell flies or incline dumbbell press and I've got chest machine flies. Ok, so my program is laid out and it's all geared towards me adding muscle. Right now, everything I do is geared towards me adding muscle. I'm not worried about cardio, I'm not worried about body fat, it's muscle.

Carl Berryman: 15:11

What I decided to do and this has taken about seven years of I don't know how many different versions of this journal which I call a training manual. Now, it's not a journal, it's a training manual. So what happened was I'm listening to podcasts like yours. I get these aha moments, like these ideas, that just something just jumps out at me and it's like, oh man, that is such a good idea, I got to do something about that. And then two things would happen. Number one, most likely I'd forget it as I'm just listening to the rest of the podcast and it'd be like oh, I'll just listen to another podcast tomorrow and repeat the process three hundred sixty four, three hundred sixty times this year. Right, or even worse, which sounds better is I would take action on it. But taking non-specific action is like going into the gym and saying what am I going to work on today, which is what a lot of people do. And when you go into the gym without a plan, without having your training sessions geared towards specific targets, then you're going to be like old Carl and you're going to be working out and sweating and lifting heavy weights, only to realize that you're not really getting anywhere, which is unbelievably frustrating.

Carl Berryman: 16:18

The mental muscle up.

Carl Berryman: 16:19

Long story long is five very specific questions that take you the way I like to say it, from inspiration to integration, to ignite an impact you wish to see in your world.

Carl Berryman: 16:29

So when I hear a quote from you Die, and when I had you on the podcast for episode one or two, a small group of brothers that I have your quote with regards to making sure that, when it comes to purpose, there needs to be clarity of purpose there so you can build the confidence that you want. We had. There were six of us and three of the guys chose your quote to run through the MMU, the mental muscle up and reason being because it inspired them, which was awesome. But all of them came up with one small, specific and simple action that you take in the next 24 hours. That is the goal of the journaling experience. So every morning when I do it, I'm thinking about a challenge I have. I run it through this journaling process and come up with one small, specific and simple action I'll take in the next 24 hours, so all that inspiration doesn't go to waste.

Dai Manuel: 17:25

So simple.

Dai Manuel: 17:27

But simple doesn't mean easy, because it's still involves commitment and action but and this is where I'm getting with this, because the clarity piece and I know I mean I've made this known and I think you and I have had some side conversation to this you also sort of alluded to this at least you're a bit more intentional with podcasts. Listen, I know for myself, when I listen to podcasts I'm usually doing anything but pen and paper and, jim, I'm walking and cycling, I'm shopping, I'm like I'm not sitting there fully present for what I'm hearing, but I'll hear little snippets and I'll be like, oh, that's great, I want to do that. But then life happens right and yeah, who's got the? Who's diligent enough to go back and re-list them.

Dai Manuel: 18:05

We often just move on to whatever's next. So where I'm going with this is I know you've got an exciting project to take on which is going to help us with not only the clarity in the confidence piece, but it also gives us a system to make this I go as a far as say easy, because it's simple to what we've been talking about, but it doesn't mean it's simple to implement.

Dai Manuel: 18:25

That's where things fall off, and that's why I'm excited for what's coming and I'm going to give you I want to just give you this opportunity to talk about it, because I think by the time this episode drops, you're going to be full on in it. Man, yeah, sure, sure what's coming.

Carl Berryman: 18:37

Okay, thank you for that. Before I share what's coming, though, one thing to kind of make note of is sure, when I'm doing my mental muscle ups in the morning, I have the quotes in my phone that I can refer to, because I take what's called the notable quotables from the podcast episodes that I record, right? So all the amazing guests like yourself that have had on, I've got anywhere from five to 15 quotes from each person and I have them all on my phone. That way, for example, the first question inside of the mental muscle up is what is your situation? So you're just defining the challenge, right? So as soon as I do that, I know what area of what I call the prep work I'm going to tackle.

Carl Berryman: 19:20

So the prep work is purpose health and fitness, relationship health and fitness, emotional health and fitness and physical health and fitness. So say, for example, if I am going to purpose health and fitness, I know, based on the individuals that I've interviewed and I've gotten to know who would be a good person to go to for a notable quotable, which is you're one of those lead individuals, right? So I would just go to all the quotes that I have from Die, and then it's like oh yeah, this one fits this situation perfectly. Then I'll use that as my inspiration to help me figure out what the action is. But it doesn't always have to work like that. Phillip Pape, our buddy over at Whitson Waits.

Dai Manuel: 19:54

It's funny that you mentioned oh wait, full disclosure. His episode goes live right before your episode is going to be going live.

Carl Berryman: 20:00

Oh nice.

Dai Manuel: 20:01

Because you both referenced each other in the episodes. I love it. I had an interruption there because I'm like I just love it. We're such a triangle of dude.

Carl Berryman: 20:07

Yeah.

Dai Manuel: 20:08

We're all talking about you, sorry, I did it.

Carl Berryman: 20:09

amazing. I did interrupt. You, go ahead. No, no problem. So Phillip was to journaling like I was to tracking my macros For years. Never, I hated it, absolutely hated it. There's no way you could pay me enough to do it. And since Phillip's my nutrition coach, he insisted I do it. And so I've been doing it religiously since the beginning of October now. And Phillip was the same way with journaling, but he's in the process of taking my 24 day challenge right now. That involves the journaling process using the mental muscle up training manual. And he said and this was beautiful he went to see. Oh, what was it? One of the Christmas plays, a popular one. I can't believe I'm blanking on it right now. Maybe a Christmas Carol, oh yeah.

Dai Manuel: 20:57

And he was literally with his kids. Right, they just happened. Right, exactly, okay.

Carl Berryman: 21:02

So, yeah, is it Charles Dickens that anyways? Oh, christmas Carol, yeah, christmas Carol, yes. So he was there and he said, literally, there was a quote in the program that he saw and like, oh, I can run this through the MMU. So the next day he ended up using it as his notable quotable for the MMU and came up with his small, specific and simple action, which was just to set an alarm in his phone to remind him to do a simple act of kindness for somebody that day. And it was just beautiful.

Carl Berryman: 21:34

So you don't need to have pen and paper and hand all the time and listen to your podcast like you're taking an exam or something like that. When something inspires you, you have it mentally noted and you don't have to write things downward for word. You can just take the general concept and use it to come up with that one integration step, because the whole point is taking those key gems you learn from somebody like you and the guests that you have and integrating it somehow into your life to ignite the impact you wish to see in your world. Now, what was the question? Oh, yeah, what's coming up? Okay.

Dai Manuel: 22:09

Yeah, because now you're helping us with the system to actually implement this stuff, and I'm just excited because I know you've been working on this a long time. Yeah.

Carl Berryman: 22:17

The actual training manual itself has been in the works for about six years, and what you're referring to now is the notable quotable cards. So what's going to happen with the cards? They'll be available physically, digitally. I'm going to have an app that has them as well. But let's say I'm doing my journaling process in the morning. I've decided you know what. It's something that I need to make a part of my morning routine and you want to use the mental muscle up. You can either have the digital version or the hard copy version of the training manual. That's okay.

Carl Berryman: 22:50

First question write down what your situation is. Okay. Now I need a quote for inspiration. I need my notable quotable. So now you can just go to this deck, you can go to your phone, you can go wherever and pull up the inspiration from the coaches that inspire you the most. So it's like I said Die Manuel is a guy who inspires me with regards to living with purpose, or sometimes in relationships too, because I know how important relationships are.

Carl Berryman: 23:13

I know how intentional you are in your relationships, so I have notable quotables with regards to relationships as well. So now I just pull up those quotes and I can use that to inspire the action that I'm going to take in that day to make sure that I'm living life intentionally. Because it's like I said, it's no different than going to the gym without intention, walking in saying oh, I think I'll go on the treadmill, oh, you know what, I'll go do some biceps, I'll go do some legs. It's like it doesn't work that way. If you're serious about getting in a better shape, you need to have a program, and if you're serious about having a good life, you need to have a program for that. That's just. That's my philosophy anyways.

Dai Manuel: 23:53

I think it's a philosophy that I can envision lots of people that are watching and listening to this. They're not in their head right now. They're like, oh yeah, that makes a lot of sense. But again, it's also having the awareness and the example, because you and I have talked about modeling and mentoring are the two most foundational ways that we all learn. So now it's actually something physical or something tangible that can support us not only with the mentorship, but it gives us something to model, and that's why I'm really excited for this to come to market. It's been a long time coming, I know, but you know what Things happen when they're ready to happen, and we'll have all the links in the show notes, everybody, so you'll be able to grab yourself a copy. I'm anticipating that this by the time this episode is out. That should be launching it roughly around that line, based on the timelines that we've talked about before in the program.

Dai Manuel: 24:38

If anything now I can hold you really accountable to getting it out. I'm going, hey, your episode is going live.

Dai Manuel: 24:43

You're going to do better, absolutely yeah. But listen, we've been talking about books, right, and I know this is really big in your life, because we've talked a bit about the black box situation, right, and the black box is everyone talks about. You've heard me talk about the scientific method. In scientific method, like, what do you do? Well, you got certain inputs, you put them into something like the big black box and then you look at what comes out of the black box the outputs, the results. Yeah, it's pretty easy to figure what's going on here. It's like, yeah, if I don't like the results, maybe I got to change the inputs. And yeah, especially the inputs mentally. So you shared one of your most impactful books that you've read as of late, that's changed your life is a book that did the same thing for me about almost six, seven years ago as the Way of the Superior man by David, and I'd love for you to just talk to us a bit about the book. But how did that book show up for you? That meant your life.

Carl Berryman: 25:32

How it showed up for me is I actually gave it as a gift to somebody else before I'd even read it, because it was a woman actually, and she told me she loved the book and so I got for her without even ever reading it. And then one day I asked her this is a couple of years after I got it for her. I'm like can I borrow that? She's like sure. And so I was like, how the hell have I not read this a thousand times already? So that book ended up becoming one of my four Bibles, if you will. So before I had all of my quotes compiled in my phone. Now where I can, just when I'm doing my mental muscle up in the morning, I can just go to those quotes. I would use a specific book for a specific area of the prep work. So if ever I was doing a journaling experience on relationships or even with purpose, it was the Way of the Superior man and that book.

Carl Berryman: 26:26

What I love about it is a super short chapters, super clear and concise. There's no fluff and it's straight to the point. But one of the things that surprised me most about it that is actually it's so funny that we're talking about this right now, because In one of the chapters he specifically talks about how you need to be willing to accept criticism from the men in your life and be willing to offer criticism, and so, when I spoke earlier about me being a person that catered to how I thought other people want me to be, one of the things I've struggled with big time is holding friends and brothers accountable to the things that they say they want to achieve, because I'm like Carl you don't have everything put together. You have a lot of areas of improvement. Who are you to call these guys out on what they're doing? No, we specifically have an agreement that if we do love each other as men, we are going to hold each other accountable as men.

Carl Berryman: 27:28

So I very reluctantly sent three of my closest brothers messages, and one in particular is like dude, I'm sorry and I'm by no stretch of imagination perfect, but you said you were going to do this. I was counting on you to do this and I'm not going to lie to you. I'm really disappointed. I know you're better than this, so if something has gone wrong, let me know, but either way, we like this, can't keep going on like this, because you're letting me and you're letting other people down. And so he didn't message me back for about it was less than a day, but I was really nervous as I was even going to hear from him.

Carl Berryman: 28:08

And then, sure enough, when he messaged me back, he said something I'll never forget. And he said Carl, I've been dropping the ball in a lot of areas of my life and you're the only one who's loved me enough to tell me. So that's how it was received, as like man. So, unfortunately, he opened up the floodgates, because then I started just going after everybody that was dropping the ball. But it's been amazing. It has been absolutely amazing the response, because they know I'm doing it coming from a place of love. They know I love them and I want to take a stance for who I know them to be, because I would want other people to do the same for me. So I started doing it and, sure enough, now they're engaging in what we wanted to engage in. They're taking the small, specific and simple steps that we agreed that they want to take and they're showing up as the man that they want to be as a result of that tough love. So that was one of the biggest and most recently impactful lessons from the way the superior man.

Dai Manuel: 28:59

I love it. I love it. I've got a LinkedIn article that's had some pretty good readership and I talk about the biggest life lessons I learned that I applied from reading David Dider's book. So when I saw that show up and when you filled in the app, I was like, oh man, I had to curl even more. I was like I didn't think I could, but oh yeah, it just keeps going on man. So thank you for sharing that.

Carl Berryman: 29:23

My pleasure.

Dai Manuel: 29:24

Also we've talked about I think I've mentioned to you before the Five Regrets in the Dine by Bronny Ware, another very impactful book. What you said about it's one of the main. I've got an episode actually coming out about the Five Regrets which is interesting. Actually, it'll be out before this episode, so the episode that I talked about that on. It's so weird. You know how this sort of works.

Carl Berryman: 29:45

I'm still getting used to this guy. It's super weird, don't?

Dai Manuel: 29:47

worry about it. It is weird. I'm like, oh, wait a minute, that's going to happen, so I have to sort of talk.

Dai Manuel: 29:51

It's just like the English language, right, I mean anybody that tries to learn English in the second language. I'm so impressed, hard enough to learn as a first language, especially when you start getting into the future past participle. It's like I don't know. Anyways, whatever, I digress, but where I was going with that is one of the regrets is I wish I lived a life that I wanted to live, not the one that I felt everybody expected of me. Yeah, it's starting, but that is really a version of what you shared.

Dai Manuel: 30:23

So I appreciate you being vulnerable and opening up about that, because it's how many of us just keep doing the things day in, day out wash, rinse, repeat and we feel that we're not really doing it for ourselves, we're doing it for everybody else but ourselves and, given the choice, would we continue to do the things that we're doing? And so just even your morning exercise of doing that self check-in it reminds me a lot of Steve Jobs, to be honest with you. But then, in his Stanford address he talks about, there was one exercise that he always did in the morning, when he'd brush his teeth, get ready to go out for the day. He would ask himself a simple question. Today was the last day for me to be on this planet, would I continue to do what I'm about to do today? And if the answer was no more than a few days in a row, he knew that there was some big changes that had to happen. And so, again, you're very intuitive with this sort of introspective and exercise.

Dai Manuel: 31:09

So, anyways, I just wanted to put you on the level of Steve Jobs. Dude, you're up there man. No, but I'm serious. Like your philosophy, I think, is why I like it so much is just, it is a simple one to follow and understand, but most of us can relate to it very easily. Yeah, where sometimes we're talking about these very cerebral, I mean. When we hear the term philosophy, people are like, oh gosh, there we go. Mental masturbation, right. But no, this is very up to the goal, intentional and very useful. Thanks, man.

Carl Berryman: 31:36

My pleasure. Thank you there.

Dai Manuel: 31:38

Great, and I guess actually on this note because as we sort of get closer to the end here and I got a few more questions for you I just love to get your thoughts on is I know you've been transitioning from personal trainer to really men's health advocate. You know like you are doing much in the mental health space. I mean gosh, that mental health month. I mean I've never seen so much content come out with such intention and the amount of people that you brought on. I feel very honored.

Carl Berryman: 32:02

I was part of that. I got to be a piece of that. You definitely were. You reviewed a bit but dude it was so impressive.

Dai Manuel: 32:08

And so this transition, that you're on this journey, I mean it's a big shift, man. Yeah, and what was the aha moment that triggered that for you? I know there's an origin story, there's something that's a big. Why, oh, yeah, so I'd love to know. I'm you know selfishly, it's my podcast, I get to ask these questions, but I'm sure other people out there are listening right now. I want to know too. So, please just take it away.

Carl Berryman: 32:29

This last November was it's mental health awareness month and that was the one of the first times that I'd actually heard of such a thing. And I was on Instagram and one of my friends, shay. She posted some stats on male suicide and divorce rates, where divorce is initiated or 70% of divorces are initiated by women and I started just going down this rabbit hole of some of the stats with regards to men's mental health. And it was. I went down the rabbit hole at first out of curiosity, but then I was looking for answers for me because at that point in time, nobody would have known it on the surface to look at me, but there were days where I was having suicidal thoughts and even Jenny Lee, my partner, wouldn't have known. And it's like Carl, you're a personal trainer who's doing an awesome job with his clients and I have amazing clients. I've got amazing friends, amazing brothers, an amazing partner with Jenny Lee. I've got the podcast going, which was a dream of mine and it's going well, and I'm doing what I love. Like, how could you possibly be feeling this bad? And when you feel that bad and you judge yourself for feeling bad about feeling bad, it makes it worse and worse and worse and I couldn't.

Carl Berryman: 33:54

I realized after looking at that post and going down a rabbit hole that I'm not the only one. There are so many more men out there. And then that was confirmed through me getting open with people who were close to me in my life, like my closest brothers. I would open up to them and of course they I try to, on my podcast, speak for the man who can't speak for himself in terms of all shared stuff that might seem vulnerable and sure you can label it that. At the same time, I know the harm of not sharing what's really going on for you and to me that is worse. So I just try to speak to them and so my friends and my brothers would hear these things and they would reach out A to see if I'm okay. But then they would open up to me as well. And it was beautiful because I just realized by opening up a door for myself, I was opening up a door for a lot of other people.

Carl Berryman: 34:44

So that's why this past November I had on 24 different guests, 24 different guests. And it was. It was just beautiful. The stories being shared, the vulnerability, the honesty, the strategies, the principles, this just everything was so beautiful. Everything from fitness, mental health, emotional health and fitness with yourself and yourself and Phillip on the pocket or not Phillip yourself. And let's see, we had Traver and man. I'm blanking on who some of these guests were. Jeez, anyways, for the purpose, health and fitness podcast 102 was absolutely amazing. Oh yeah, rome's was on there. Rome's was amazing. Oh yeah, yeah. And so ever since then, I realized that I love personal training. I love it. Wait pause.

Dai Manuel: 35:41

Okay, I'm sure I need to come here say goodbye. She's going back home now. Oh wait, is it your friend Carl? Is your?

Carl Berryman: 35:50

sure name my eldest, hi sure, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, nice to meet you. This is for your podcast. Yeah, I'm interviewing Carl. Wow.

Dai Manuel: 36:00

But I wanted to say goodbye to you because I know I'm next to you for a couple of days, Sorry. See you Friday.

Carl Berryman: 36:05

Yeah, friday, love you, baby Love you Bye, thank you. That's awesome.

Dai Manuel: 36:09

Okay, no problem, I'll see you, baby. Continue as a personal trainer, yeah.

Carl Berryman: 36:15

I love my job as a personal trainer, yet at the same time, it's not what I'm called to do. It's not what I'm called to do anymore, and it's going to be bittersweet. I've been really limiting my clients and not taking on any more new clients. So I can pursue this, but I know there's going to be a point in the not too distant future where I may not have any clients, and that's it saddens me because I love that. At the same time, there's a bigger purpose that needs to be served that I feel I can put a dent in if I really choose to. So I'm choosing to.

Dai Manuel: 36:47

Thank you for listening to your calling. Thank you, I mean, how many of us we feel that right? It's interesting. Oh gosh, what's his name? An author. He wrote a book called the Shift Dire. No, wayne Dyer.

Carl Berryman: 37:00

Dr Wayne Dyer.

Dai Manuel: 37:01

Yeah, he wrote a book called the Shift.

Dai Manuel: 37:03

It talks about this for men and women as we sort of get into late 30s, early 40s to mid 40s, the period Sort of like from 35 to 45.

Dai Manuel: 37:09

There's a period of life We've often heard the cliche, especially in men the midlife crisis, right, and they go off the deep end kind of thing buy a sports car, get a divorce, find a woman that's 10 years younger than them, like whatever, like they just go this other route. And what he identified was it's usually because we come to the split in the road where we feel drawn to do something, call to a bigger purpose, and if we ignore that call, it can create a lot of big gap, basically, and that gap is a lot of unfulfillment, lack of joy, lack of happiness and lack of purpose, right, and so we try to figure out other things to try to fill that gap, which often don't fill us at all. That's why there's lots of studies that talk about you'd be a millionaire, you could also be the most miserable person. They don't equate. It's not one predicates the other or guarantees the other. Right, appreciate everything that you've shared, man. It's just, it's beautiful, but also the fact that you are leaning into that shift and you're taking and answering the call.

Carl Berryman: 38:05

Yeah, hopefully. Anyways, sometimes the phone rings no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no no, no, no, man, you are doing this, man, you are.

Carl Berryman: 38:14

Yeah, but there's still days where it doesn't feel like I am. And you know what, when you said that thing about Steve Jobs, that actually made me really happy, because if he asked me on any given day if I am happy doing the things that I'm doing and what I could, if this was my last day, what I continue to do when I'm doing now, and thank God, at this point in time I can say yes, like every single day that answers the resounding yes.

Dai Manuel: 38:40

I love it and Carol, and this has been so much fun and I got a couple more questions as we wind up here, and one's a fun one. Okay, it's a fun one. If your life, to this point, was a workout, what would it be called and what would be the main exercises in it? Okay, what would it be called? Because that, where I'm riffing on this and just so you know a big crossfitter and crossfit the origin stories. All the workouts, all the men's workouts, were fallen heroes.

Dai Manuel: 39:06

You know, they actually got the nerve, and a bunch of just men's names that are usually fallen heroes, and then all the women's names are actually references to storm systems, storm systems, storm systems. You notice that most of the time tornadoes and all that they tend to have and all that side gets Ekaterina.

Carl Berryman: 39:22

These names, yeah, okay.

Dai Manuel: 39:24

Yes, exactly. So that's what crossfit was. Our hard workouts will give the guys the fallen heroes, and then the ladies will name after storm. So that was sort of the initial. It's obviously changed a lot since then, but that's what I'm curious what would be the name of your work, life, workout and what would be the exercise that you put in there?

Carl Berryman: 39:42

Well, I have to go with huh. I was going to do something around the muscle up for sure. But I'm going to go with something that I used to run quite a few of years ago. That was called the four hour mob and it was the mind over body boot camp. So it was absolutely. It was four hours and it was just. It was absolutely phenomenal and we connected mindset. You know it was amazing. But the number one exercise in there, without a doubt, would be burpees. No question, I am a massive fan of burpees. Box jumps would be in there, no question, We'd get some battle ropes in there, absolutely. And the sled and a tug of war Spicy, A tug of war Doing that. I remember when I would do tug of wars in the four hour mobs. It was so fun seeing everybody get so into it and so nervous, yeah, absolutely.

Dai Manuel: 40:41

I love it. I love it. Four hour mob Dude that's such a great name too, and I'm a big fan of community based fitness and health events that I would love to play in that one.

Carl Berryman: 40:51

That would be so much fun One of these days buddy, one of these days, I hope so, man, I hope so.

Dai Manuel: 40:57

Well, listen, we talk about an exercise and I know you and I chatted before. We connected today and all the listeners now, you're all used to this. Now You're building up an arsenal of these useful resources, depending on what you want to intentionally work on, moving the needle forward in whatever area that might be, and based on what you shared today, carl, what would be a wonderful exercise that you could invite or encourage the listeners, viewers, to do for and ask me 30 minutes or less per day for a week straight, and I know, oh that's simple.

Carl Berryman: 41:30

We're going to go with this. Yeah, go, it's simple, it's a mental muscle up and it's five simple questions. And it was amazing because when Philip finally agreed to do these, he recorded a video of him reading his from his training manual and then posted in there. And I asked him how long it took him to do it. He's like it took me five minutes. I'm like, really, because he came up with some really insightful stuff that was deep and I was like man, I knew you were an intelligent guy, but this has taken it to a whole new level and even today, like within our small group where we're doing the challenge together, he sent another video of him reading his mental muscle up.

Carl Berryman: 42:10

It's just five questions, like question number one what is your situation? So you outline your challenge. Question number two is what is your notable quotable? So that's where you find the quotes, or you have this idea in your head of something that you heard from your podcast and you put it in there. Question number three what is your transformation? We write down four things that we don't want to get crystal clear about, four things that we do want. Question number four is what is your inspiration? So now you're just kind of tapping into that inner voice to make sense of everything you just wrote down.

Carl Berryman: 42:41

And then the last question is the most powerful one, which is what is your integration? And that is a small, specific and simple step that you will schedule and share and commit to taking in the next 24 hours. And it has to meet those criteria small, specific and simple has to. So, yeah, just these guys say. For example, one of the guys today, last week he wrote down he really wanted to commit to eating healthier because he's really busy entrepreneur and he's getting all his lunches from gas stations or fast food whatever. And so I called him out and I said you said you were going to do this, so show me your MMU. And what did you do? So he showed me his MMU and his one small, specific and simple step was to he started ordering from one of those pre-made food services.

Carl Berryman: 43:25

So now I have those for dinner and I make enough for dinner and then the lunch the next day. That's not a big step, but it is going to have a big impact.

Dai Manuel: 43:34

So that's what I would do I love it, I love it. I was hoping you'd say that anyway, so kind of, I know we chatted better but I was going to let you go.

Dai Manuel: 43:42

We wanted to go. There will be a one-page everybody in the collective by the time this goes, live. The collective should be live. I am putting it out there. It should be live. Oh yeah, and in there we'll have this one pager where you will see all of Curl's amazing links as well, as I'm going to encourage you to pick up a copy of the journal, especially if you're enjoying the week's worth of doing the exercise, because it's a beautifully put together product, because it is a product at the end of the day, it's a product that's going to help life get better and you can't put a price tag on that.

Dai Manuel: 44:13

But it makes this process much easier for all of us to implement. And it's gosh. As he said, it's like a five to 10 minute exercise every morning. We got the time we do, but do we prioritize our time and really just make it a non-negotiable because it's for ourselves, right, like it's for us, but everybody benefits from it too, and so that's going to be a great exercise and thank you for being so generous today, as well as just being kind enough to be here.

Dai Manuel: 44:41

I want to give you last words, okay, and the final word today is just a. It's just a simple one, not a big deal, but for any minutes listening or watching this girl. And, let's be fair, we all have our eyes and our lows. But maybe this person's having a real tough time right now. You know, the things aren't really going their way and it can be physical, it can be mental, it can be emotional, even spiritual. What would be your top piece of advice, just to help them get started with shifting or igniting themselves to want to make more impact, not only for themselves but for others. Just what would be that best thing for them to just get started, so they can start to create that positive inertia, let's say to see the changes start to begin?

Carl Berryman: 45:25

100 percent? That's another rhetorical question to me, because it's get a spot Really simple. For example, yesterday and today, man, I've been leaning on him a lot. Philip and I are really close now really close Ever I'm having a challenging situation. He's one of the first guys that I reach out to. Sometimes I know how bad it is for me to keep things inside to myself and just ruminate over them. I'll just pick up the phone, I'll start a video and I'll just vomit into the video and say Philip, this is what's going on for me. I don't know what to do here.

Carl Berryman: 45:59

Yesterday I was just letting know I was in a really dark place. I was feeling really depressed. I had a lot of stuff that I wanted to get done. Being Monday, I wanted to crush the first rep of the week because, just like in the gym, the first rep of the set totally dictates the rest of the set. If you crush your Monday, you'll probably have a good rest of the week. If you have a horrible Monday, you're starting off behind the eight ball. So I sent him a video and, sure enough, he told me a lot of things that I really needed to hear, but, most importantly, he just made it clear that he was listening and that he was there.

Carl Berryman: 46:28

Right after that. It was like okay, I took a breath and then I just started taking all my tasks, just like I do in the gym when I feel overwhelmed by a set or an exercise. You don't have 12 reps to do in this set, you've got one and it's the next one. Just focus on that next rep. But that never would have happened had I not asked for a spot, because yesterday the weight of life was really heavy and I was not going to try to lift it on my own and luckily I didn't have to. So get a spot.

Dai Manuel: 47:02

I dropped the mic. Don't drop it. Yours is on a boom and it looks expensive. But regardless, I love the advice, or that parting words. I mean it's both inspirational and motivational, but also at the same time it's again I feel like I'm a broken record, but the simplicity through which you describe the process Intimidation factor.

Dai Manuel: 47:24

it just comes way down because I know there's a lot of intimidation because we're also looking over the precipice of change, and change is scary at times. It really is. Back to the clarity breeds confidence, and confidence when you're feeling good, you make better actions than you know what you make consistent action. So thank you today for bringing it man, you totally brought it. I love this conversation. You talk about quotables. I've been marking out like my paper's foolish stuff. Right now I've got time stamps to go back.

Dai Manuel: 47:52

So, listen, thank you. It's been an absolute pleasure hosting you. I'm looking forward to us having you again. I've already been thinking about it. I haven't done a show with a three-way yet and I'm thinking you. Me and Phillip just got a jam so I've had you look on individually. So I think having a three-way convo again would be a lot of fun and be something new for the audience. I'll tell you what, guys. If everybody's like down with that, just shoot me a message. See, yeah, it'd be great. I want to hear Phillip and Carl come on the show.

Dai Manuel: 48:18

And I think we'll sort it out. We'll do it. I'll just survey my audience, get a bunch of FAA, some questions, and then I just need to roast you guys.

Carl Berryman: 48:25

So that would be beautiful, that would be perfect. This has been awesome Die, as always. Thank you so much for having me. This has been great, my pleasure, rap.

Dai Manuel: 48:36

My pleasure. And that's a wrap on another incredible episode of the 2% Solution Podcast. A huge thank you to Carl Berryman for joining us today and sharing his powerful insights and personal stories. Carl's journey reminds us all that vulnerability is strength and seeking support is a sign of courage. Today we learned about the importance of getting a spot in life, the transformative power of the mental muscle up and the journey from personal training to mental health advocacy. Carl's story is a testament to the power of resilience and the importance of living a life true to oneself. If Carl's world resonated with you, don't forget to reach out and let us know. Share this episode with someone who could use a little inspiration today, and remember small changes can lead to big results, Just one step away from a better tomorrow. Until next time, keep pushing that 2% further and making a difference in your life and the lives of others. This is Diamond Well signing off. Stay strong, stay positive and keep chasing that 2% solution.