Have you ever felt the magnetic pull of your core values shaping the choices in your life?
Joining us on the podcast is Tara Robertson, an advocate for diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI), who has forged a path from academia to the frontlines of DEI strategy and coaching.
With Tara's guidance, we traverse the landscape of aligning personal and professional worlds with the values we hold dear, enriching our understanding of why diversity matters and how the power of inclusion can transform our workplaces and communities.
Navigating the complexities of organizational culture, this episode peers into the nuanced art of addressing conflict, fostering inclusive spaces, and the bravery needed to stand firm in our beliefs.
I'll share some of my pivotal moments, like wrestling with HR issues in my business, and how core values like fairness led me to leap into new career horizons. These stories underscore a universal truth: living authentically according to our values is essential for our professional identity and inner contentment.
As the conversation unfolds, we'll explore why curiosity is the gateway to understanding and empathy, the crucial elements in overcoming life's challenges. From personal growth to setting boundaries, we'll reveal the importance of saying yes to life's true passions while maintaining a balance that honors our well-being.
This episode promises to leave you inspired, reflective, and perhaps even ready to recalibrate your "funnometer" as we celebrate the victories of placing our health and happiness at the forefront.
Be sure to Connect with Tara on her:
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And because I believe in overdelivering (or maybe it's just too much coffee), you'll also get my "Dai Manuel's Whole Life Fitness Manifesto" – a guide to living your best life, valued at $24.
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Visit www.QuestForClarity.com, and let's turn your life into the adventure it's meant ...
Hey there, fitness enthusiasts and life learners, it's Diamond. Well, here your guide on this 30-year journey through the wilds of health and wellness. Today, I'm absolutely stoked to welcome Tara Robertson to the 2% Solution Podcast. Tara is not only your everyday guest, but she's a powerhouse in diversity, equity and inclusion, and she's here to shake up the way we think about life and values. Let's be honest we've all been in those situations where our values and our actions didn't quite align Like she was in a donut over a dumbbell, right. But Tara's here to show us how it's done, how to live a life true to our core values. And let me tell you, her journey is as inspiring as it is educational. From her days as an academic librarian to becoming a beacon in the DEI space, tara's story is about transformation, empathy and the power of staying curious. Get ready to be motivated, educated, maybe even a little entertained, as we dive into the secrets of aligning your life with your values and making an impact. Tara's energy is infectious as a laughter in a silent library and her insights are as refreshing as a cold smoothie after a hot yoga session. So tighten those laces, grab your water bottle and let's get ready to be inspired by the one and only Tara Robertson. This is an episode you will not want to miss. Tara, welcome to the Two Percent Solutions podcast.Tara Robertson:
Yay, thank you.Dai Manuel:
I feel like this has been a long time coming, when it has. I think we've booked in for this like two months ago, and I know it's been. We just got through the holidays and then we're getting into the thick of the new year and I've been really looking forward to this conversation, partially because I just really like you and I'm fascinated by you and your story. But I also think it's such a neat story of not only transformation and progression, but the power of knowing your values and what that can do for you when you really truly align your life to your values. I think you're a wonderful example of that. So we're going to get into that, and you've had a pretty unique journey from academic library to a leader in diversity, equity, inclusion and now coaching. Can you walk us through that? I know that's a pretty big story arc, but give us sort of the nuts and bolts of how did that even come about?Tara Robertson:
So, first of all, thanks. I'm so excited to chat with you. I became a librarian because I care about access to information. The public library is one of the few places in society where anyone can walk in and access information. Some people are like, oh, like, you became a librarian because you love books and not really that was my why. So I never actually worked in public libraries as a librarian, but I worked to increase access to information in different academic libraries and running an accessibility organization that took print textbooks and put them into digital formats for students who had disabilities. So it's all about access for me when the job at Mozilla came up. So Mozilla is the tech company that makes the web browser Firefox. They're owned by a nonprofit who has the mission to keep the internet open and accessible for all. So that access piece and access to information it's exactly the same why. So I kind of leapt into that role and got to do diversity, equity and inclusion globally for a tech company that had staff in 16 countries. So I was learning a ton and working with really smart, kind people. And then I kind of moved into doing my own thing, working as a consultant, working with different companies and organizations, getting their strategy, dialed in for diversity, equity and inclusion, and then I had a coaching, so it's all about I think I love for people, curiosity and I really care about fairness and inclusion.Dai Manuel:
And actually do you mind just expanding like for some of the listeners out there that maybe aren't as aware as just even these terms and what they mean in context to what we're talking about today, can you give a general, just an overview or an understanding of what we're meaning by this and actually what your mission is and how you're showing up to actually enact this mission? Because I get to follow you on LinkedIn and if you don't follow Tara on LinkedIn, you got to follow her. It's super entertaining. There's some great posts, but also some very thought-provoking posts and I really do appreciate that and you can see by the engagement she gets. They're great conversation starters. So do you mind just expanding on that for the listeners.Tara Robertson:
Sure, the diversity is like who is in the room, and when I say who, I think about demographics, like what genders are represented, what racial backgrounds, what religions, what ages, what sexualities, what people with disabilities or people without disabilities, education backgrounds, class backgrounds, like all of the different kind of dimensions that make us interesting and unique and different. So having all that difference in the room, it's just the world, but it's also richer. We have different perspectives, we also have some more conflict, but it's a much richer way to kind of be and to be in community and for companies, like if you're serving the population, if you're trying to build a service or a product to serve people across Canada or the world. There's so many different kinds of people and if we don't have that diversity represented internally, like we're gonna miss the mark, an inclusion of the culture. So it's funny I met you at the CrossFit gym and you were the first coach we had. I was so scared to walk in there. We had all these stories about what the gym was gonna be and not be, and it's funny. It's a very, very inclusive space. There's a sticker on the door that says it's got a rainbow, it's all genders and sexualities welcome, or something you can put a sticker on the door, but that feeling that people are safe, welcome and belong, that really exists at the gym and it's about how people treat each other, how we behave with each other kind of day to day, and also when things aren't so great, when you bump into someone or someone takes the thing that you need, how we are with each other in those moments too.Dai Manuel:
Well, and it's interesting, and I know you sort of describe yourself this way, but I can say no, she is this way and what I'm meaning by that is massive energy. Hello, it's been also being extremely results driven, and I can imagine the types of conversations that you're feeling or facilitating I mean energetically speaking there must be extremely challenging at times and I'm curious how do you manage some of the conflict or some of the I guess we could call it red tape in certain instances and some of that emotions, because you always seem so collected but as logically sound, and what I mean by that is I don't think you ever. You're very passionate, big energy, but there's thoughts behind that. I don't get the feeling like it's just sometimes I'm a cross-eyed guy in me, right. I'm just like, yeah, we're doing burpees, we're doing burpees. I don't wanna do burpees, I'm just trying to make it till I make and convince myself I like them. But I see that authenticity in the way that you show up. So if you can speak to that, how do you manage that? Because I think a lot of people find ourselves in these situations and I know I've had some challenging conversations in the past with my former business. I was in and just some people not feeling welcome and then having to deal with those challenges when they were brought up. They weren't easy and thankfully there's facilities like yourself to help with that. I could have really used that a decade ago when I was dealing with some HR challenges in my former company. So if you don't mind, sorry that's a long-winded question, but did you understand what I was sort of asking? Does that make sense? How do we like, how do you manage the energy piece and sort of the conflict piece, especially because you're going into organizations? I imagine sometimes there's a well, let's just say it's a bit of an uphill battle because you're probably trying to change either some preexisting dogma or some former sort of culture, even though it wasn't as inclusive, but it's still. It's been the way, that's always been. So you're coming in there to say, no things gotta change and you've got people here that wanna see the changes and I can just imagine there's a lot of emotions involved in some differing points of view. So I'm just curious how do you manage that but also protect yourself and your own energy?Tara Robertson:
It's funny, a whole bunch of. I wish I had the quick sound, but a whole bunch of things are swirling around so I'm just gonna hop them off. So one of them, I think, is naming it and I've become a lot more comfortable doing this as a coach as my skills have deepened as a coach and more comfortable just naming something, like without trying to fix it or without being right.Dai Manuel:
So that's kind of like if you walk into it, Sorry go ahead. Go ahead and start it off. No, I'm just gonna say can you give an example of that? I'd love to hear how does that show up, cause I'm struggling right now trying to imagine a spot for myself like that.Tara Robertson:
Yeah, you know, when you walk into a room and you smell a fart, yes. And you're like, and a lot of people will politely not say anything and you can be like something smells in here. Can I go up on the window so it's feeling that out, or feeling the elephant in the room and naming it and just saying there seems to be a lot of, or we seem to not be talking about racism.Dai Manuel:
What's going?Tara Robertson:
there. Or wow, this one leader speaks and then nobody contradicts them. Have you noticed? How does that line with you? So I'm not trying to be right and say this is what's going on, but kind of, I am an instrument to be like, I don't feel right, Something's uncomfortable for me or and a lot of it is turning into my body Ooh, I feel like a little afraid in here. What's going on? I'm not generally afraid, so if I'm in a meeting and then all of a sudden I'm feeling scared to speak, what's going on for everyone else. So it's naming those things and naming them without trying to be right, and then using that as a way to kind of surface things Like that's not going to work all the time. But that's, I think, a lot of what I do these days.Dai Manuel:
It's uh. Well, you know I've got some other questions, but I know for the sake of today's show. I know we've talked about the value piece and I think a lot of what we're talking about. Obviously there's a lot of values, especially values that you hold near and dear, that help direct you and allow you to constantly show up with that certain level of confidence. I mean, when you know your worth but you also know what you stand for. It's a lot easier to plan a flag every day and say this is what I'm here for. And you mentioned or hinted at there was a significant shift in your life when you identified or, as you use your own term, like named your values. You know and really own those. Would you talk a bit about that, or like how it changed the direction but also some of your decisions, because I imagine this also is going to give more context to the previous problems. I probably shouldn't have started with that one, but anyways, let's just talk about it.Tara Robertson:
I'm just thinking of how it connects to that example. Fairness is one of my values and speaking out for the underdog is one of my values. So if I'm in a situation, especially where I'm being a paid expert and I don't do that, I don't feel good at the end of the day, I'm ruminating about things, I feel like I haven't shown up in the way that I can professionally, and I've also. I also feel like I've let other people down. So now that I know that one of my values is fairness or justice or speaking up when something's not right, it's also my value of integrity when I have that discomfort in the moment because it's not comfortable.Dai Manuel:
But you and I do things that are not comfortable all the time. We can do hard things and by doing them we get better at them. It doesn't make them less hard, but it builds our capacity to do it. So in those moments where I'm like, oh no, like I need to say a hard truth, sometimes I look to my values and be like integrity is one of my values, so I need to walk my talk, or speaking that truth is one of my values, especially when it's hard. So it's okay, I have a choice. Now I can be on this ledge of like oh, this is hard and this is an alignment with what's important to me. I'm going to feel good at the end of the day and I'm not going to be ruminating if I operate according to my values. Does that make sense?Dai Manuel:
It makes complete sense. Like complete sense, I mean, one of my core values is family and it ultimately, you know, eight years ago, when I left a career, 17 years, it was a big driving force for that, you know, because I just felt misaligned with family and I felt that I couldn't find that alignment on that career path, you know, and so it came out. I made a decision to believe that, you know, make a change. And, yeah, it was scary, intimidating, but you know, what's worse was the idea of that family value further eroding by me compromising for a career and a paycheck, you know.Tara Robertson:
And that right now, on a scale of one to 10, how well are you honoring your value of family?Dai Manuel:
It probably. Well, it's funny now being empty nesters and not having the kids around as much. I feel weird, you know, like it's been a weird transitionary season and, if you will, I like to think I'm like an eight or nine. I was. I've never given myself a tag because there's always rules for improved box, you know I as of late, because they just don't keep you this much. It's like I'm not getting the opportunity, but they know we're there. And the fact that you know my daughter went through a breakup recently, you know she reached out to her, both my wife and I, you know, to talk with that, that just knowing that when they do find themselves in tough situations or unique situations that they haven't been before, they do come to us for console, you know, and that makes you feel good, you know, knowing that I can help them when they're ready to ask for help.Tara Robertson:
So I guess, I'll say eight.Dai Manuel:
I'll say an eight Tara.Tara Robertson:
Okay, what's something that you could do today to make it a nine?Dai Manuel:
You know, having a good face time with my youngest, I think that would be a big one for her. You know she's at UVic and I know she's not feeling well right now. She's got a bit of a flu, which is just awful, you know. Just back to school, as we can already just, you know, dealing with being stuck in bed. So I think that would be a great way to, just because she wouldn't be expecting that as well, you know. So, okay, there, I'm going to go make a nine after this.Tara Robertson:
So I have that in my heart, like I can feel your value and like, just looking at your face and your body language, how important your family is to you, and thinking about honoring that today and how you lit up Like yeah, I'm here for that.Dai Manuel:
I can see how you do it. I got to ask you. So where does empathy come into this whole conversation, your lack thereof, Like? Because I think empathy is just a? I mean, do we classify that as a value? Can empathy be a value? Or gives it more of a mental state, you know, and I'm just wondering how does that play into this? Because I would presume that in your line of work, empathy is very important. You know, Maybe that's just a false presumption on my part, but I was wondering you could maybe speak to the empathy piece, because I believe that with more empathy in the world, we might find that things are very different than they are currently. You know, and I'm just curious about your thoughts, especially based on the conversation that we're having today. You know, it's funny.Tara Robertson:
empathy is important to me, but what the word that comes to mind is curiosity. I'm cute, like people are fast Um, and you don't know people's story when you meet them, and you don't know their story and what they're going through day to day like, unless you're curious, unless there's trust and they're going to share it. But for me it's more about curiosity than empathy. I don't know why. I think curiosity is something I can connect to my behavior more. Empathy, feel like, and empathy is important, but it feels a little more like amorphous and like weird shape. But empathy or curiosity, I'm like oh, I can ask questions or I can observe or there's things that I can actively do to be curious, to actively be empathetic. I think that would connect with my heart. Yeah, and it's easier for me to think like how do I want to behave and interact with someone? Curiosity is a clearer one for me. What about you?Dai Manuel:
Well, I think empathy has served me well, just more so. I think it's also created temperance, but also patience. I do recognize that some of the modeling that I had growing up and mentorship are lack thereof, I should say. Especially in my 20s I found myself picking up with the people that I was associating with. At that time I just started to adopt a lot of the beliefs that they had. It was really weird because I didn't deep down instinctually. It just conflicted with how I was raised and my values. And yet it was at that time when I really started drinking quite heavily, and so you sort of just drink your way through that uncomfortableness At least that's what I was doing. But when I really gave up the alcohol and started to be open to receiving hard questions and actually being open to talk them through or spend some time introspecting and reflecting, it was life-changing. It really was. But that ability to see myself in someone else's shoes really became something that I valued. From the standpoint what you said we just don't know where people are at or what's happened. You have that one quick interaction with them, but we have no idea what happened to the hours leading up to that interaction and before. I'd be very bombastic, to be honest with you, tara, where I'd just fly off the coop on the smallest of things. I saw myself do that with family as well, that short fuse. I didn't like that about myself, so I found that empathy has been helping me with that. Oh really you too.Tara Robertson:
And judgment is something that I'm working on. I think it's going to be a lifelong thing for me. I'm very curious, I'm very empathetic and I'm also really judgmental, and one of my coaches was like how's that serving you? I was like come on, fuck you, edwin.Dai Manuel:
Hey, oh no, no, I'm just curious Like what can you do yourself to work on that, that to be more mindful and aware of, because the judgment piece I mean, let's be honest, we're hit with 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts a day in these little mountains of ours and the amount of data that we have to process. We have to be able to judge things quickly, to sort, but it's being mindful of when's the default settings creating strife or maybe conflicting with certain values, and I think that's that subconscious bias sometimes right. And anyways, I'd love to hear your thoughts on how you actually work with this. Or, more importantly, how do you help people other than yourself work on this? Because I'd like to know selfishly for myself and I'm sure there's a lot of people listening to this like how can I be less judgmental?Tara Robertson:
For me it's been a noticing practice. So like, when am I judgmental? What's going on? And trying to notice the judgment without judgment, instead of being oh, I'm being judgmental, I'm an awful person. Oh, like doing it again and just saying okay, yeah, yeah, that's, that's happening, and just noticing it, like kind of as the thought, the thoughts float in, they float out. And what's the pattern here? Like, where am I judgmental? Am I judgmental when I'm tired? Am I judgmental when I'm around people who aren't like me? Am I judgmental on days where I'm not feeling super great about myself? Like what? What's the pattern? Like being curious about that? Then there's the compassion piece. Like I mean, okay, like that's a human thing and how's it serving me? What's it getting in the way of yeah, that's tough, like we're human, we're messy, we're judgmental and we can change.Dai Manuel:
That's, that's the one right there, you know, and as long as people believe in themselves that they can change, right, Like it's. I think it's one of those things yeah, yeah, you can change. I've had the people literally have that conversation, right, it's like, yeah, you can change, or change is easy for you Like, well, first of all, you got to start with believing that you can change. You know, let's get to that core belief first. You know we'll worry about the rest later. But I know that when speaking of change is, this is something that you, you support your clients with now, especially in the coaching side of your practice, and I know that you represent under underrepresented leaders especially. So what are some of the common challenges you see coming up for them and how do you help them navigate that? I'm like really curious about this, you know.Tara Robertson:
It's funny, boundaries and work life balance seem to be a big thing and I think it's a big thing for everyone, but when you've been told you need to do twice as much to get half, be twice as good to get half as much, there's this constant overperforming and level of perfectionism and level of like overperformance. That's really not healthy. Where you, you're out of choice and like I'm choosing to go 110% on this project because it's important to me. Where you're doing that for everything, also to prove yourself. So it's kind of connecting clients back to themselves like what's important to them and values as part of that, and knowing some of there's a lot of research that shows certain patterns in the workplace and surfacing it and being like so how do you want to be with that? There are times where we do need to absolutely knock it out of the park. Being at choice and be like yes, this presentation, I absolutely want to crash, great. But if you're on autopilot, being like I'm not good enough, I need to over deliver, over deliver, that's not a great way to be and I absolutely did it in my career. When I was in tech, I was traveling once a month at least because we were dealing with so many time zones. I was working minimum 60 hour weeks. My sleep suffered, my relationship suffered, my health suffered and I was absolutely getting accolades at work. It's oh, you're crushing it, you're doing this, and people were also like, oh, the work you're doing, or you listening to me or helping me. See this, it means so much and serving people is important for me, but it got out of balance, so yeah.Dai Manuel:
Can you talk about how you created a boundary around there or reestablished a boundary? I guess is probably what you ended up doing and then. But honoring a boundary, I always find setting one and then keeping one, two very different ideas right in action. So I'd love to hear how you because I myself just so you're aware last year that was a big thing it's trying to create more boundaries, some areas I was good Some areas well, let's just say I'm going to keep on focusing on that this year, you know so, especially around work. I know that I at times we'll just go all in because I have a lot of fun doing what I do and it will create neglect in other areas that I should probably be focusing on right. So I can appreciate that lack of harmony, you know, between some of those poles. So I love to hear about what's been working for you, or any client examples that you have as well, with how you can help people sort of navigate some of these big changes in their lives, because I mean, it's systemic change is slow, right, it's a slow process and I know you do tons of advocacy work.Tara Robertson:
So yeah, let's switch gears.Dai Manuel:
I love to hear specifically about you, tara, like what you know, what are you advocating? But also, how do you maintain the boundaries to keep yourself in a positive place, because I know some of the work that you do. It's not easy work. It's important, very important work, but I can imagine it also requires a lot of energy, and so how do you maintain your energy as this amazing thought leader and change maker, and I'd also like to give you this platform to also speak to some of the things that you're advocating for.Tara Robertson:
Yeah, so I realized my boundaries were way out of whack when I was crushing it at work, but I wasn't having much fun at life. So actually that was the first time I hired a coach and I was like the. The theme was like I want to recalibrate my funnometer.Dai Manuel:
Haha, I like that, I like that.Tara Robertson:
And it was like, first of all, understanding what my baseline was. I'm like I feel kind of dead, like I don't feel alive. What is fun? I don't even know anymore. So, figuring that out and then figuring out what I was saying yes to, like saying yes to being in town for the days that I had swim practice or whatever, which was important to me, both for a sense of, like, social connection, physical exercise, which is the foundation of my mental health, being in town for important friends' birthdays, making those the things I was saying hell yes to. So then, if, oh, we need you to be here I'm sorry, no, I'm busy that weekend, or I can't travel that weekend Cause I had no boundaries on what I was saying no to with work and I was really like excelling at work and I just was not having a very fun life. So I think people often think about boundaries as what you're saying no to and I'm like, yes, but it's also what you're saying yes to. What is the hell yes? So then, what do you need to say no to To keep space for that yes?Dai Manuel:
What is your hell yes for this year.Dai Manuel:
Oh, the podcast. Really it's a big hell yes for me and it just feels so aligned with everything that I've been doing the last 15 years. It feels like this has been that little piece that was missing for my day to day, and so it's a hell yes and I just want to serve and impact as many people as I can in 2024 with this medium.Tara Robertson:
So that's my and you're crushing it. I want to celebrate you from seeing like the first 500 listeners, the first thousand. And how many now, how many down the road.Dai Manuel:
As of this morning, we just surpassed 10,000 downloads, so yeah, I really love it.Tara Robertson:
That's amazing.Dai Manuel:
Yeah, thank you, thank you. So, because of the support of people like you and this amazing community that I feel very grateful to have an ability to support, you know.Tara Robertson:
So what do you say no to?Dai Manuel:
Well, I realized that I was saying yes to a lot of things that were time, resource heavy but didn't really have an ROI, you know, like there was no ROI and, to be fair, and I've spoken openly about this, you know, as a more ble, obese teenager, I dealt with a lot of mental health issues and I was starving for validation and acknowledgement and just people to see me, you know, and that was a big thing that was fueling me wanting to make that physical transformation and I was seeking validation. You know, like, just constantly A lot of people pleasing. I just wanted people to like me, but I believe that wouldn't like me unless I looked a certain way, you know, acted a certain way and pretty soon I believed that alcohol would allow me to be that person that they would like. And you know, sort of in this downward spiral. But when I realized was there's still that piece of me people pleaser and I'm very quick to say yes to things that aren't truly aligned with some of my goals, my visions and some of my aspirations. And so my hell, no, now is I'm actually being much more selective with where I say yes, specifically around things that require me to show up, be present and to give a lot of energy, so like speaking events and whatnot. So I am, I've been really good the last six months of guarding some of that energy. You know so, but it's sometimes it feels like it's a maybe, not a no or a yes. You know so, and I know that maybe is, oh my gosh, the worst, but I still find myself sometimes wanting to say no or wanting to say yes, but holding back, you know, and I don't want to have any of the gray area anymore. I want to be able to make decisions quickly. I know that serves me better.Tara Robertson:
So I'm hearing how yes to the podcast is also yes to discernment, yes to focus and yes no to people pleasing and no to maybe I would say so.Dai Manuel:
You know, I'd say that's a very astute observation and I like how you just helped me reframe that. You're really good at doing what you do. Tara, I could tell that already. Can you actually? I want to create some space right now for you to talk about this activity that I know you've prepared for the listeners, because a lot of what we've been talking about today talks about values, understanding these values, and would you mind just sort of giving us a quick overview, like what is truly a core value? Or, you know, sometimes we hear that because we can have lots of different values, but I know there's usually a dominant set of values that we prioritize over all else and I'm curious if maybe you can share a little bit about what people can do to get the clarity, but also what would be the activity that you would invite them to do yeah, to dial in their value system, but also to put them into better action.Tara Robertson:
So when we think about our values, often people will think of those posters with lots of words Like that works for some people. It didn't really work for me. When we live in alignment with our values, we feel on purpose, we feel in flow, we feel aligned, we feel fulfilled. And when we don't live in alignment with our values or dishonor our values ourselves or continue to choose to be in environments where our values get dishonored, we get pissed off, frustrated, angry, tired and we burn out. So, understanding our values, it's kind of a lens to make everyday decisions in your life and work so that you are living a fulfilled life. So that's my 2% solution kind of tip. It's like when you're pissed off about something, a value's getting stepped on, so name it, and then you've got that information. What decision do you need to make to honor that value? So can you tell me about a time in the last week where you've just been like irritated or pissed off?Dai Manuel:
Okay, okay, yeah, you know what it's. It's gonna make me sound like a little bit weird, but I don't like rudeness, I don't like people that are rude, you know, and I like to always give thanks and show appreciation, especially when people do cool things or do something that's very helpful, supportive, and I guess there's something in me that expects others to do that too. You know, and I know this is a challenge, right, because I'm trying to force my beliefs as well as somebody else, but there was an instant where I was just helping a person out, you know, like with their groceries getting in the door. You know, obviously, then the cost quarter I live in a condo, so it can be problematic at time to try to get stuff to unload. And there was no thank you nothing Like I could see there were struggling. I helped them and I it's okay, Well, you know really positive about it all, but just there was no appreciation shown and I was just like no, that's wrong. And I just found myself feeling really you talked about rumination aspect. I actually found myself thinking about it a lot after the fact, like how ticked off I was, yeah, and even beating myself up because I'm like well, I shouldn't have helped them and I'm like that's just not me, though I still want to help them. But then I started to feel bad that I should be able to help people with the expectation of someone saying thank you, and so I found myself getting this bit of a loop in my mind.Tara Robertson:
So I don't know what your thoughts are about. So I'm hearing. I'm hearing being helpful is a value of yours. So you're like I'm seeing someone struggling with a door. I can help. I'm going to help. That's just who you are, the rudeness. Is that about respect or is that about acknowledgement or something else?Dai Manuel:
That's really actually, or is?Tara Robertson:
that about being.Dai Manuel:
I think respect's a big one for me, but I guess it's. But it does involve the acknowledgement. I started to put the two hand in hand, which is interesting. I just figure, if you acknowledge somebody and you're polite about it and just I mean we're all human beings and I think we want to be seen on some level at least acknowledge, just, be respectful and be courteous, and I mean we're human beings, man, we're emotional people. Connections could Right, I don't know yeah.Tara Robertson:
So seeing heard and respected is important to you.Dai Manuel:
Yeah, it is yes.Tara Robertson:
And that's the value. What's the word that you would use to describe what got stepped on when that person received your help and didn't acknowledge it? Yeah, disrespect.Dai Manuel:
I think would be the.Tara Robertson:
So respect can be value. You can hit this. We're going to have an activity for everybody to do this, and TAR has been so generous to provide some of the tools that she uses with her clients and supports their clients with figuring this stuff out, Because knowing what those most important values are are extremely clarified. But it also gives you a little insight to your subconscious, because sometimes it's autopilot right. I imagine you would believe that too, TAR, where we've got certain beliefs that are hardwired in and those beliefs that we've had since we were kids, especially those values that we prioritize. It's amazing how they do drive us a lot of the time, don't they?Tara Robertson:
Also, this is something useful you can do as a parent or a partner or a friend. We're often in conversations where people are unloading about oh that thing, that really happened, and can you believe? She said this and it pissed me off. So listen and you don't know, throw them out. But that person has had one of their values stepped on. Share this framework with them and trying to gather, figure out what that value is, Because once you understand why something pissed you off or just didn't feel right, it's much easier to make better decisions in the future that are going to support your values.Dai Manuel:
It's cold. Thank you, Thank you. Thank you so good and I want to acknowledge you as well. So Tara and her partner, Carolyn, have been coming in to the CrossFit gym now for two months. Right, Is it two months now? Or two and a half months? Four, Is it four months? Okay, it just goes to show you I've got dad brain Four months. Everything's just blur and it's just. You are such a wonderful energy, Like just every time smiling into it, didn't matter what was on the board, you're fired up and you're doing it, and I just got to commend you. But I know you've experienced this transformative sort of energy that comes when we sort of reconnect their own health but also the actions we can take to reinforce that health. And have you seen how? How has that influenced other areas of your life? I'm just really curious. The last four months we noticed some big shifts in other areas as a direct correlation to that decision to, you know, reclaim your health.Tara Robertson:
Every area sleeping better, less stressed out. Like you said, I have a lot of difficult conversations in my work. Much better resource, much more connected to my body and embodied much so. I'm more attuned to when my spices are going off and it's good to be hungry and to be like, oh, I'm so hungry right now. I feel alive, Also just meeting some of the greatest people I wouldn't have crossed paths with and, yeah it's, it's transformed every area Such a good thing in my life.Dai Manuel:
Well, I gotta say that the culture and just the camaraderie and energy in the gym you have a very noticeable presence and I feel very grateful to know you, but also even more grateful. I had an opportunity to have you here today to show everybody what I get to deal with in the gym every day and I love it, and you know, before we go today, and I love to be able to have you back in the future and hopefully you'll agree to that. Just sort of putting on the record right now, but because I know there's so many different areas that I can also add about. Oh hell, yes, Okay, so I'm gonna give you the last word and if you could give the listeners one piece of advice you know it's already to begin aligning actions with values what would that piece of advice be?Tara Robertson:
So, on a piece of paper, write down one of your values, and it could be something that you know that's really important, or it could be one of those ones that you've discovered because it got stepped on. Like I did with dye, give it a score out of one to 10. Maybe it's a six, maybe it's four and a half, maybe it's a nine no judgment. Think about what you can do to boost your score by one point and make that action item in the next three days, and then you do it Translatorial. Be living a more aligned life and you'll feel more fulfilled, and I want that for you Well thank you.Dai Manuel:
I am so grateful that you came on today, so I have to just acknowledge you and thank you for all the wonderful insights. I know we barely scratched the surface of a lot of your story and your journey and, more importantly, the wisdom that you've gained in this beautiful life of yours. So I know we're going to have to have you back and also just thank you just for being you. I've already found myself around this conversation and around inclusion, diversity, equity. To be fair, it's not something I've put a lot of stock into, unless it comes up in my day to day, but it doesn't necessarily come up in my day to day. I'm a solo entrepreneur. I work by myself, you know, and I like to think I'm open minded to all these things. But, you know, in following your content online, I started to look at my own choices and actions and even some of my belief patterns. I'm just more aware and I just want to thank for that awareness and for the way that you deliver. Your content is very I don't find it very confrontational, you know, to be honest, because I know it's probably the style of your coaching style as well. You're asking questions rather than sharing assumptions, you know, and I appreciate that, and so I just want to say thank you for being here today.Tara Robertson:
Thank you and I'm going to acknowledge you before we hang up. You also I think we both have pretty big energy. You show up, like when you're coaching. You show up 100%, and you show up every day. And you show up and you're phenomenal. Your encouragement and just who you are like, who you are in the world, makes the world a better place, and I feel so grateful that our paths crossed and I'm getting a little choked up. I appreciate you too. I see you, I appreciate you and this has just been a delight. Thank you, diane.Dai Manuel:
And that's a wrap on this insightful episode of Tara Robertson, and I've been thrilled to take you on this deep dive into diversity, equity and inclusion. We've unpacked Tara's incredible journey and her transformative approach to living a life that's true to your values. We've explored how this applies not just professionally but personally, enriching every aspect of our lives. To keep this learning journey going, I encourage you to connect with Tara online, follow her on social media and delve into her blog for ongoing insights. For those of you looking to further explore diversity, equity and inclusion in your personal and professional lives, check out resources like DEI workshops, online courses and books recommended by experts in the field. Remember, it's about making those small, consistent choices that align with your deepest beliefs and values. Share this episode if it resonated with you and don't forget to leave us a review. Your feedback helps us continue delivering content that makes a difference. Until next time, stay curious, stay inspired and keep making those positive changes in your world. Here's to living a life aligned with your values.